If you work part time & your DP works full time …

[rickyyrickkaayyyy]

how much of the bills/rent/ mortgage and childcare should the person who works part time pay ?
my dh earns well , quadruple what i earn and pays the main household bills mortgage and bills where i am part as we have a toddler.
i am home with our child 2 days a week. just because i pay less than 25% of our expenses i feel he still does not value me or my non financial contributions to our family.

We’ve never pooled money or had joint accounts and it’s never caused a problem.

I work PT since having DS and earn around 45k. DH earns 4 times as much. I tend to pay for food shopping as I do it most times while he’s at work. He pays for pretty much everything else.

We’ve never had a cross word about money in 20 years together.

@Ghht I have two children from my first marriage but wouldn't expect my now husband to share costs for them equally as they are my financial responsibility and not his? Yes he will of course share costs in terms of food shops, utility bills etc, but things they need like clothes, books, stuff for bedrooms etc and for things like birthday and Christmas gifts for them - that's down to me.

Sure, if that’s what you want.

I have another child with my partner. Part of the deal is he also has to support my existing child (his step child) while I have lower earning potential because I’m caring for our baby. He’s a good man, he would support his step son either way. We will continue to share everything in the future too. We don’t keep track of who spends what on who because we see ourselves as one joined family. Any very big spends and we discuss it. If it were any other way then I wouldn’t have wanted another child.

@Ghht Ah I understand. So when you go back to work you will take on the financial responsibility in the main again for your child? Fair enough.
I also have a shared child with my now husband and of course we both take on financial responsibility for her jointly.
You say your child's bio dad refuses to pay maintenance? How? Do you think perhaps he knows someone else will pay for his child so he won't bother? Not for one second saying that is acceptable btw - he absolutely should have that responsibility as bio father.

All monies are our money, all goes into joint account, direct debit into another for bills only and what's in joint is for us both to use as we please

The bio father wouldn’t pay either way. I was a single parent before and he didn’t pay. It has gone to debt collectors now…but it’s been years and I’ve still had nothing.

Before we had our shared child, I paid for most things for my 1st and dp helped if I was ever short (but we always shared food, bills etc.). Now the expectation is there’s one pot and we all take what we need from it. E.g. childcare for my eldest just comes out of the joint. The child benefit for both children goes into the joint (but in my name on application). All bills and both our salaries go into the joint and we pay everything from it, there’s no dividing things by child. We both have our own savings (individual accounts) from before this. I’ll still be working part-time, but it would be the same if I were to go back full-time.

DH works full time and I work part time. We have separate accounts but he pays for everything. I only contribute to the food shopping.

Anybody on here where they work ft and DP works pt? How is the money divided if so?

Not now, but at the beginning of our marriage.

The division was the same - we are one family, not housemates. His income, my income, child benefit all went into the family pot and we paid essential things out of that, tried to save small amounts for emergencies, and both had the same small amount for our own 'spends'.

First post is spot on. Similar position to you but my DPs view is “we both work hard, I just happen to be given more money for it”

I really don't agree that all money should be in one joint pot when married. My husband and I have always had separate accounts and it works well for us.

DP earns 3- maybe 4x what I do a month. But we go halves, on mortgage / bills. He argues that he initially stumped up the giant deposit and renovations, and is the one to pay big things like home improvements , holidays. It still feels unfair 😢

@morgan56 What do you feel is unfair about it?