Ex filed for divorce today and also wants to get back together

[RainbowsandCats]

Ex messaged me today to let me know he’s filed for divorce. He also told me he still loves me and wants me to come home and for us all to be a family again. So now I’m confused 😵‍💫

We’ve been separated for a year now (not amicable) lately he’s been sending kisses in his texts, romantic messages and pictures etc.

He also whispered “come home” when he dropped DC off this evening.

I find his behaviour confusing but he said we can’t stay in limbo forever etc.

What are everyone’s thoughts?

And here he is, still controlling you. Get on with the divorce quick smart.

Ah yes, coercive controller on his last legs/panicking. He’ll flit between ‘I just want you to be safe I’ll give you the house’ to ‘you won’t get a penny from me you bitch’ in the same text message. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Especially of note: the children are going to live with me full time!/suddenly not turning up to see them ever again.

eta: the crueller of the mixed messages is always the one that turns out to be true, beware

So he files for divorce then whispers come home the same evening? Is that right?
Makes no sense to me. The only excuse is if you've been the one who did something wrong. If it was him who did something to ruin things, this sounds like a very immature lack of decision making at best, game-playing at worst.
Maybe counselling would help here, to unpack your feelings and his?

If it’s online, as I think you said, there is no paperwork. Everything is online. I applied for the conditional order whilst away from home in the UK, and the final order in the US. It’s literally a click. And my ex was on the other side of the world, responding to stuff without an issue.

Hes trying to mess with your head, ruin your holiday and continue to control you.

Tell him to cut the crap and only communicate with you regarding arrangements for the children.

There is no need to be engaging with this nonsense regardless if he wants to get back together. He is an emotionally abusive controlling twat who hasn't changed despite what he says.

For context, I did write back to my STBExH telling him to stop with the inappropriate messages and move on with his life and to only communicate regarding the children. He too claimed to have changed but the apparent change only lasted while he thought his BS would get him back home. The twattery continued every time something didn't go his way.

They're all the same. They all try it. He's trying to manipulate you. Shut it down.