Boyfriend bit me

[Gorlami]

I’m not sure how to handle this and I don’t know how I would even tell someone in real life because it’s embarrassing.

My BF bit me and it really hurts today and it’s starting to bruise and I’m scared that it might get worse. He didn’t attack me or anything like that and said that he got carried away, but I’m feeling vulnerable now that I am home again on my own because I can feel the pain. I was fine this morning when I was with him so I’m not sure why I feel like this now. I don’t even know why this upsets me so much but it does and I can’t explain it to myself or even to him?

I think this is concerning, in general if a man acts like he has lost control during sex. He would know you wouldn’t want bitten or hurt. It’s no wonder you are upset. I’d recommend that you take pictures, in case in future you want evidence of this.

I have taken pictures.

It’s only ok during sex if both consent to it. You didn’t consent to it sorry. He’s assaulted you and for me my relationship would be over . I hope you’re ok.

He's now your ex-bf, right?

He's an animal. Get away from him.

I'm so sorry that's happened to you. I can imagine you're a feeling vulnerable the immediate shock has worn off. You've been violated. You've been hurt. I'm not sure it matters exactly how. It's really grim and made me feel sick.

He obviously knew what he was doin and also with the bites being so far apart he didn't bother stopping. It will get worse believe me leave now

He did attack you OP, he physically assaulted and inflicted pain on you several times without consent.

He abused your trust at a time of intimacy and vulnerability to deliberately physically hurt you for his own pleasure. And by the sounds of it he's not sorry. He has also hurt you emotionally.

You aren't over reacting at all. He is a risk to you and you should leave him.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, I hope you recover OK.

I'm surprised you didn't smack him at the time frankly. Once was enough but twice?

Anyone who ever hurt me didn't ever get a chance to do it again and that he's not being considerate today underlines that he's really not a particularly nice individual.

Dis he bite you before? Did you discuss this before hand? Did you consent?

You say he stopped , but did he apologise for hurting you?

Biting someone during sex isn't that strange in itself. Lots of people enjoy being bitten during sex.

Injuring someone with no prior conversation / consent / implied direction, absolutely isn't in any way okay.

Regardless of whether it was during sex or not, if he genuinely doesn't care that he hurt you, that's a serious problem.

Maybe he's evil, maybe he's just thick. Either way, you're well within your rights to tell him to FO. If you don't want to do that, you need to talk about it openly and he needs to seriously apologise and commit to never doing it again.

He bit you during sex? Unless that is something you are in to, that is not ok.
It is not my thing, so any man that bit me during sex would feel the sharp end of my elbow. With force. Would he like it if you bit his dick?

If he was a dog, he’d get put down. I suggest you do the same to this relationship.

There’s a big difference between a playful sexy nibble and an actual bite. Despite what all the kinksters believe, it’s not normal for pain to be part of a healthy sex life. The same way a playful spanking is one thing, but being actually hit is another and conflating the two only helps abusive men get away with ever more sexual violence.

This is assault causing actual bodily harm. It is also sexual assault, because you did not consent to him doing that to you. If you feel able to, please consider reporting this to the police. It would also be worthwhile seeking medical advice.

In the meantime, dump him. You cannot trust someone who enjoys causing pain to his partner during sex.

Are you normally quite physical during sex? It is not normal for someone to use so much force that it bruises unless that's a form of sex you've both expressed a preference for.

People can get carried away and not realise their own strength occasionally, but his lack of concern for you being in pain today is a huge red flag. Does he normally show more concern for you?

Was there an identified plan for biting and consent prior to this happening?

I changed my username. ‘Lovebites’ used to be a thing back when I was young. They’d bite then suck your skin causing a bruise. It used to be a badge of honour. I never understood that. And women/girls needing to wear a scarf to hide them maybe but generally it was seen as they ‘loved’ you. I am actually glad that things have moved on from that. And we know that it’s abusive.

I would dump him.

Please remember that it doesn’t matter what people say, it matters what they do.
No-one would be in a position to do this to me again.

sorry, unintentional quote.

This morning when he was still there, you were trapped in a faun state. Don’t rock the boat. Dont let him see you weak. Pretend it’s ok.

Later, you were free to process what happened and start to feel the injury he did

I’m sorry. Please don’t give him the opportunity to do it again. Because he will. He needs to know that there are consequences to his behaviour. And they are that you will never let him near you again.

I had an ex who did this. He continued to do it time and again even after I made it very clear I didn’t like it. We eventually broke up. I wish I had ended it sooner.

I don't think you understand what a dripfeed is.

A dripfeed is slowly revealing pieces of information that make a difference to the context of the original piece of information given.

An example:

My boyfriend hit a man tonight, I am scared of him.

Dripfeed : He hit the man because they were being attacked and the attacker had a weapon.

The 'dripfeed' exonerates the behaviour of her boyfriend because it gives context that the violence was in self defence.

The OP did not drip feed. The fact that he bit her during sex has no exonerating factors. In fact I was say it exacerbates the situation and brings it to an even more worrying conclusion.

I’m sorry. Please don’t give him the opportunity to do it again. Because he will. He needs to know that there are consequences to his behaviour. And they are that you will never let him near you again

Absolutely agree. The only way you should ever see him again is in your rear view mirror. He crossed a massive boundary. His judgement is non existent.
He needs to learn a serious lesson and it's fallen on you to teach him. Dump him.

I’ve been bitten like that a few times. The first person went on to be a horrific violent abuser. Knowing what I know now in my 50s I would end the relationship.