Worried about DD choice of BF

[Cryingforthemoon]

Ok. We are the parents of our mid 20 DD who has just hooked up with a 41 year old bloke. 6 months. She is doing a PhD in computing. He is a Web designer. Only issue is his website is not working, and hasn't been for weeks, last client appears to be 4 years ago. He has no other obvious means of income. He remts a flat in a nice part of London.

Our DS let us know that they both bought a lot of magic mushroom chocolate from a friend of his.

He is coming to a holiday rental we have rented for a few days.

Are we jumping the gun? Are we right to be concerned? We can't work out how he is making a living.

How would you handle this?

You mentioned your DS rents with your DD. Does DS like his sister's boyfriend? What opinion has he given if any?

Initially he was ok, but now he thinks of him as a "Pseud"

It was our DS alerted to the fact they bought magic mushroom chocolate off a mate of the boyfriend. A couple of hundred quid worth!

Regardless of mumsnet views on it ..taking magic mushrooms is normal among people i know. (I'm 48 and a professional adult). At 20 I was partying and taking drugs with other people my age I also know that is normal. Again. You might not like it but it doesn't indicate being weird or a drug dealer.

Magic mushrooms btw were legal when I was younger and only criminalised by the tories.

Anyway. I would be grossed out by the age gap and yes would be very wary of the not working website.

At a music club that she goes to regularly - so music.

He had a GF the same age that is still hanging around apparently.

He doesn't want kids according to my DS.

Its not unusual at all - not everyone would know that though, so its fair you might be confused, but trust me, not a red flag.

Maybe he turns his website off from time to time to save electric.