What level of contact would you expect in a casual relationship?

[theymightbegiants]

I’ve just started dating again and met a guy and we decided to have a casual relationship. Trouble is, I’m not fully sure what that means. We have slept together a few times but he rarely messages and because of his work commitments etc it’s typically about once a fortnight that we meet up. In person he is keen and I don’t think he’s married or anything. Would you expect in a casual relationship to be messaging between seeing each other? I know I can ask him, just wanted to get some input first. Thanks!

No the clue is in the name. Casual.

Meet up to have sex and he owes you nothing in between.

Yes I absolutely would expect it, or it isn’t a relationship’, just sex. Which is fine if it’s ok with you both.. but it’s not a relationship.

If you both decided it was going to be a casual relationship didn't you discuss what this meant in reality?

Ok maybe you didn’t agree in what causal means, it’s occasional hook ups. If you want an actual relationship. Which is sounds you do, you shouldn’t have agreed to this.

so tell him that’s what you wish.

I always understood a casual relationship to be that the woman provides sex when the man wants it, without him having to make the usual effort.
Personally I’d not want to do that! But at least you know where you are.
In your shoes though, I’d find a man who wants to message and talk to you, since that seems to be what you want?

The only thing with agreeing a casual relationship.And then having expectations around contact is that you very quickly develop feelings.

The fact that you're already on here.Wondering why he doesn't contact you more often suggests you can't take this as casual.And I would think about backing out.

Don’t be daft. A relationship is a connection or asociation between two people. It’s the very definition of a relationship. It’s just a casual one.

a casual relationship means a bit of fun, no commitment, no future, free to see others.

In person he is keen and I don’t think he’s married or anything.

you don’t think he’s married? So he could be?

Anyone you've just started dating could be. How would you know?

Well if there is zero contact in between, it’s purely just sex to him .
I know essentially that is what casual means , but you can be casual & also be friends, chat during the week or whatever.
That isn’t you two though, so if you’re not happy with it end it .

Depends if he's a fuck buddy - only meet for sex, contact is just about logistics, or a friend with benefits. I think he's the former and you want the latter. Either way, you still need to have some discussion about expectations, else you're both just working on assumptions wh8xh may not be aligned.

I don’t think it’s just sex to him because last time we met he suggested we meet to do other stuff like go out for dinner etc. he also messaged back if I start a conversation over message but he never starts one. I really don’t think he’s married but the lack of contact in between meet ups is making me doubt things. I think we both meant it to be more than sex, but not a long term serious thing because we’re at very different stages in our lives.

i suspect I am developing feelings 🙄

OP , like in all fairness if he didn’t message back after you message him that would make him a prick !.
I’m kinda confused with your post being honest.
You say you guys agreed on a casual relationship, there is zero contact between dates , yet you also said you feel the two of you want more than just sex ?
Safe to assume you def want more than just sex , but I’m not so sure about him .
I know you said he suggested going for dinner , doing things together, but he doesn’t say as much as hello during week 🤷🏻‍♀️.
He has me confused too being honest 😂

If youre developing feelings end it now.

That way madness lies if you continue.

Yes meeting up and doing other things is the norm in a casual relationship. It’s not just wham bang thank you ma’am.

i think you need to speak to him and say you want a proper relationship, im guessing casual wasn’t your idea but his,

howver I think you need to end it, as yoire going to get hurt, this guy isn’t going to be what you wish,

Casual for me is once a week to catch up and see we're seeing each other over the next few days/weekend. Don't get fooled into the we had dinner and spent some time together a FWB can be a romantic, laugh, mess about, fun few hours/day but once you step away from seeing each other it's back to the day job as it where.
Clear demarcation lines emotionally. If you're catching feelings, you'll get hurt!

OP my advice is widen your circle. Find other guys for casual fun with, test out what you like and don’t like. Some men are crap at messaging and others will keep you horny for days with voice notes, photos and messages. You are in the driving seat here, go fill your boots my lovely!

I've always found casual relationships deeply insulting which is why I won't go for them.

Don't have time for a relationship- then don't bother.

Need sex - buy a vibrator - won't develop feelings for it.

This idea that someone is good enough to fuck but not good enough to send a text to or take for dinner.

It's just deeply insulting, and it never works.Seeing as the op is craving contact from him. Then ever worked to be honest and only really benefit the man

There are no hard and fast rules for any kind of relationship - "casual" means different things to different people (as we can see from the comments here!)

I have a FWB and we message several times a day. Works for us.

OP you need to speak to him, ask him what kind of relationship he ideally wants, and see if it tesselates with what you want. (If you can't talk about the relationship, you can't have the relationship).

If you are falling in love though, do be careful. Especially if you know it can never work long term.

No- an occasional hookup isn’t a relationship, casual or anything else. Might be bit of fun but it’s a hookup.

Sounds like you need to talk to him..

If a relationship involved an expectation of daily contact between dates I wouldn’t call it casual.

To me, a ‘casual relationship’ means separate lives, seeing each other when it’s mutually convenient and no obligations to make time for each other - not factoring each other into your daily lives through regular contact and messaging.

A casual relationship in my view is basically just exclusive dating and sex with no future plans to integrate into each other’s lives, nothing more. One step up from FWB, basically.

There's a lot of " thinking" being mentioned in your posts. You don't think he is married? Have you asked him ? Does he live with someone? You think you both meant it to be more than sex ? Hmmm..
How did you meet him?

What do you mean "the woman provides sex"?

You know normal women want sex just as want as men do? We are not second-class citizens waiting for our masters to request our presence? Who are these posters who keep trying to bring us down. Men are women are equal, get used to it.

Obviously, if you develop feelings, RUN.

Sometimes I do wonder.....Mutual fun, is what it is. MUTUAL