Should I just say hello and leave the rest to him?

[GiraffesAreUntidy]

I have name changed for this, and altered a few details for privacy reasons.

For a few months now, I have had a huge crush on a man who goes to my gym. I am 99% sure he is single. His FB and instagram pages suggest that, He probably doesn’t know I exist, and I no longer make the first move with men. No judgement on those who do, but I have done this in the past and it’s never gone well. So I have had to admire from a distance.

But last week, something happened (think fire alarm, parking barrier, moving cars etc) which gave me a legitimate reason to speak to him. He was polite, pleasant and possibly, very fleetingly, looked me up and down. Not in a lecherous way, but just for a split second, and I got the impression he found me attractive. We were both using the gym after the fire alarm, and I think he was looking at me.

So having had a brief conversation, I think this now puts both of us in a position to say hello/good morning/basic pleasantries etc. but nothing more from me, right? If he is vaguely interested, he now has an opening to say hello a few times and strike up a conversation.

Other than saying hello and being present at the gym, looking my best, there is nothing more I can do without chasing, is there? Unless I set the fire alarm off …

I agree with the other posters who just say to start a friendly conversation. “Glad I got to finish my class without a fire alarm today! How was yours?” At best it’ll lead to something At worst you’ll just be that nice friendly gal from the gym.

i like the sound of this!

I’d be friendly and say hi. If it were me, I could not possibly make any sort of move. I’m not saying I’m right, I would just expect him to do the chasing.

I’d totally be snooping at his SM too. But don’t watch any stories, as he’ll be able to see.

Going gym 'looking your best' for a man? Yeah, ok, fair enough.

Surely you can just speak to him? If he expects someone to look their best during a workout then I wouldn't call him relationship material.

But life's too short not to just go for it.

I think most people do it, so don't worry, OP.

If he’s in any way a decent bloke he probably won’t hit on you at the gym, so if you like him and he’s worth liking you’re going to have to do some of the legwork! Good luck.

How about just smile and say hello the next time you see him. And then the time after that maybe try and make a bit of light conversation.

Smile say hello.
He isnt lapping up attention from every lycra clad women tho like any man would.
If you want to show interested then make convo.
Dont be so english.
Be prepared to change workout times if he isnt single of u cant cope with the fears of flirting or dating.
Who wpuld really care either way at this age!

I saw him on Monday night, we literally came face to face outside the changing rooms, I got a big grin and a 'hi, how are you?' So I was on Cloud 9 .....

Then I saw him again last night, but only from a distance, and I'm not sure if he saw me or not. I need at least one more positive interaction from him, before I feel ok about starting up another conversation.

I haven't felt like this since I was a teenager! However part of me thinks men in their 50s are rarely interested in women their own age?

However part of me thinks men in their 50s are rarely interested in women their own age?

That’s not always true; yes there are lots of men in their 50s who want someone younger, but as a woman myself in my mid 50s, I often get an appreciative look or a smile from men of the same age.

Stop being negative about your positive moment ! Start thinking about what to say to him next time you meet / bump into each other so that you can strike up that next conversation.

This all the way OP. My best friendships and relationships have been when I’ve been brave and confident and taken chances.

It’s just not true, maybe in the celeb world or well off circles, but in the real world people are with someone their age.

Daft. The other times it didn't go well weren't him....nothing to say it wouldn't go well with a different person. But you're acting like you're love struck already.