How much daily attention do you need from your partner?

[Sienna24]

How much attention do you get from your partner in a romantic sense? In terms of conversations by phone/text how sweet are they on the phone and in person how much attention would you need to stay in a relationship? I’m just curious if my expectations are normal or not hence the question. Thanks

Undivided.

Sometimes I follow them to the toilet.

Seriously, can’t get enough of them.

I think the question is. how much time you think is appropriate. I guess that you aren't happy. Is this to do with your self confidence thouggh?
People are all different. Some like attention, others like minimal.
ultimately, if you afren't happy..leave.
When you meet the right person, the relationship should flow without concerns.

I’m having an issue with him making conversation especially on the phone it’s more of a check in with no emotion or effort. Even when I try & keep the conversation going he shuts it down quickly it’s a bit annoying. He does show affection in person but I’d like sweet texts and more effort on the phone when we’re apart. I have asked him for it but it’s still not happening

It sounds like he’s not a good match for you and it’s as simple as that, really. It’s ok to have expectations. Yours may be different from someone else’s - it doesn’t make them wrong. You can meet someone who’s more similar to you. If you’re not happy with him, just tell him you don’t feel you're a good fit for each other.

None. I am an independent adult. The only time I have spoken to him on the phone this year was, sadly, to tell him that a friend of ours had died.
I have no idea what a "sweet text" is, but I suspect both of us would find it hilarious/ridiculous.... but we have been together for 40 years, so well before texting even existed 😂

I dont seek any affection via a phone. I find that a really weird expectation. Maybe thats because I'm old enough to remember life pre mobile phones, during which no one expected or needed this.

Before we were married/lived together? We saw each other about three times a week and sent each other lots of memes every day. Probably a few proper catch up messages during the day.

I don’t think we’ve ever had a phone conversation that was longer than a minute.

None my dp knows not to bug me during the day. If its not an emergency tell me later when where both home.

Thanks for the replies. He has to go on frequent business trips so sometimes whilst he’s away I wish he’d be more affectionate and have longer conversations on the phone. My ex used to send sweet texts and we’d have long conversations so that’s more what I’m used to. He wasn’t always like this when we first met we used to talk on the phone for hours. I know he’s busy & exhausted with work so he can’t do that now but he’s just putting in so little effort that I feel so unloved

This.

I don't need "attention" from dh. We are both perfectly capable of spending time without each other, as well as enjoying each other's company when doing things we enjoy doing together.

Neither of us are 'attention seeking' though we communicate just fine.

If he's away from home he rings for 5-10 mins to speak to the DC and me. We don't text much.

Personally, I'd find that incredibly hard work. I'm not a phone person, luckily DP isn't either. If one of us is away, we'll usually exchange a couple of texts every day, and then a quick phone call every few days, no more than 10 mins. Proper conversation can wait till we're both home.

Everyone's different, and it sounds like you need more than that. If he's not compatible in that way, then maybe he's not the man for you.

Erm together 14 years married 2 months...uhm I probably get quite a lot. He messages me quite a lot in the day. I get at least 2 I love yous and various comments. Spend most evenings and weekends together. We chat quite a lot. Hes very cuddly and gives me lots of kisses. I'd be sad if any of these things stopped!

Hahahha😂

We work from home together, so there's not much cause for texting other than "could you buy some celery, forgot to put it on shopping list" type texts. But when one of us is away, we keep in touch, check in and chat at night, either by texts or calls. At home, he wants demonstrations of affection far more than me (I like my physical space), so I make an effort to hug and kiss him several times a day, because I know it's important to him. It's a bit formulaic and rote - a kiss and hug in the morning, asking how he slept, a cuddle in the kitchen while we cook and catch up our day, etc. But he is satisfied with it.

It's a small effort. If I can do it, so can your H. I'd talk to him and tell him what you're wanting and how that makes you feel cared for and seen by him. It's not too much to ask for, imv.

Some people are not big on phone calls or texting. My DH was a bit like that when we first met but in person he is very affectionate. I don't speak to him on the phone loads and loads because if he's not at home with me he's usually at work. He will text me when he arrives at work, " I'm at work, love you" and the rest is things like asking each other to pick up milk on the way home or if we need to directly need to tell each other something, not just for the sake of it. I get enough attention and affection from him in person to need him to message me all day. However, if he was on a business trip, I know he would call me.

Op it doesn't really matter what other people are happy with. What do YOU want.

Before children I don't think I'd of really liked being with someone who went on frequent business trips especially if their communication was low.
Now I've had children I just don't have time or headspace for lots of phones calls. But before I would of felt it would be natural for them to want to phone me and catch up, send texts throughout the day.

Even 13 years down the line with children my dh sends me lots of messages during the day and many sweet messages of how much he misses me etc doesn't even work away. It all just flows very nicely from both sides. I had previous relationships with low communication and it never worked for me.

A morning kiss

a surprise hug from behind while I'm cooking breakfast that's what I love the most a goodbye kiss before leaving for work, and a few text messages during the day. I understand he's a busy man, so I don't expect constant texting. I have my work too

A short five-minute conversation in the evening after we both return from work, another little chat before bed, and cuddling while we sleep these are the little things that mean so much to me.

Trust me, these small gestures are incredibly important in a relationship. I lost my husband eight years ago, and I lived without all of this for a long time. Then I started dating my fiancé, and he was an upgraded version of my late husband. That said, both men were wonderful in their own ways

OP I think it depends on what stage your relationship is at. If you don’t live together you probably will want have more texting and calls to keep things going. If you have been living together for 20 years then you will probably be happy if he goes on a trip and doesn’t bother you lol x

I get way more than I need and find it stifling

I think you’re not compatible, if my husband wished this from me, he’d not be my husband, who on earth when on business trips wants to spend ages on the phone or send loads of soppy texts. I neither wish to do this or receive it and I couldn’t be with someone so needy.

you need to find someone with the same needs as you, so you can call and text each other to fill the need in both of you.

He was like that at the start of the relationship so I think I got used to it.

We both like a fair amount of physical and verbal attention so we suit each other i guess.
His work hours vary, he voice notes me between clients etc and will call when hes driving. What im doing is more predicatable and im more free so yes he is the one who calls/texts more as I dont want to interrupt his work.
We send loving messages or hearts or memes and other times its general communication like "please can you get milk" 🤣
It would be odd for both of us to not hear from each other for more than 3 hours, even if its just a "hope your days ok, I love you" type message.

We are both very physically affectionate people too, always touching or holding hands. Lots of cuddles (i love it when he surprise cuddles me from behind and kisses me) he loves it when were watching tv and I stroke his arm and neck.

I recognise that not everyone is like this, I feel very lucky to find someone who wants this kind of love, I couldn't do with less really and neither could he

I need quite a bit. Messages mainly. He does call maybe once a day. Even if we are seeing eachother that evening/weekend.
It slipped a bit a few months ago, had the conversation and it went back to what I needed.
If you aren't getting what YOU need, and you have communicated it. Then he isn't worth your time. You aren't being unreasonable with what YOU want. 💐

My husband and I message through out the day and he calls me on his way home from work as I’m preparing tea. We spend all our time together outside of work. He plays sports and I go to support, we really are best friends and wouldn’t have it any other