Co-sleeping causing issues with DH

[TrianglePlace]

I have two bad sleepers - 3 and 5 year olds. They’ve always been terrible sleepers. The older one only wakes once or twice a night and just needs a cuddle whereas the younger one wakes several times and wants you next to him.

After five years of this I am exhausted, so for the past few months, I have started co-sleeping with one or both of them. DC sleep like a log when I’m next to them and after five years, I’m finally getting decent sleep. I really can’t stress the impact the years of limited and broken sleep has had on me.

Except now DH complains he’s alone at night and hates sleeping by himself. He’s generally unhappy we don’t spend enough time together as it is but we both work in demanding jobs and have young children so that’s not unusual. But the sleeping alone is really upsetting him.

So what the fuck do I do? I share a bed with my husband and I have to get up around five times a night between the two children, and destroy myself in the process. Or I sleep with my children and neglect our relationship even further.

Things are very much not 50 / 50. He never really got up with the DC overnight and so on the rare occasion he would get up, they would get themselves so worked up wanting me.

What the fuck do I do?

A man who isn't an involved 50/50 parent and has left his wife to deal with the night waking for 5 years, isn't interested in 'emotional intimacy'.

I suggest you lay it out in simple terms for him @TrianglePlace . He either does a night on, night off schedule with the nights till you both get them into a good routine, you get a bed big enough for all of you or things stay as they are so you stay sane. He can pick 😊

People are getting so het up here and sarcastic, while he should be helping more, it’s a separate issue to him wanting to be in the same room as just you- couples chat before bed about everything that happened over the day, in the morning we moan about work, chat about the kids etc.

Aside from this at some stage they are going to have to sleep in a room on their own- they can’t start school still sleeping with their mum at night. I know on mn it’s evil to say co sleeping shouldn’t go on post toddlerhood but honestly they need to learn to settle themselves, have time to themselves to process their day and then fall asleep, at least the five year old. You’re just kicking the can down the road for an older but more anxious child to continually arrive in bed/ not want lights out etc.

This
your husband sounds pathetic and needy and that’s soooo unattractive
sleeps important - without it you can’t function
tell him if he doesn’t like it he knows where the door is!