Good morning all and thank you for all the positive/constructive replies, it's nice to know that there are people out there who can make sense and offer reasonable comments regarding my situation.
Since my initial post, I've mulled over my own issues and the ones I have with my partner and I've churned myself up so much, I'm at the point were I cannot think straight and I've spent the majority of the time beating myself up, becasue I feel I cannot make myself heard. For most of yesterday, I tried to concentrate of keeping myself and mind busy, but it wasn't to be. I wanted to the pharmacy to collect my prescription and she wanted to come with me, I said, "I want some time to clear my head, so I'm going alone and you have the things to do that you said you would do today. (This is changing estate agents, contacting her financial advisor and making an appointment to have an MRI), but no, she wanted to come with me, I said, "look, I'm going on my own, I need to see my ex-partner about putting our jointly owned house on the market to sell, (another issue I have that is creating stress, my ex will not move out of the house, I've given her ample opportunity, but she won't do anything herself and she thinks that because I've always dealt with the finances, legal and utilities, I should also do all the neccessary to help her to move on, I'll be calling my solicitor this morning to get advice on that). Sorry, I went on a wander there. I walked out of the house and hadn't got 200 yards when a text arrived, she asked, "are you coming straight back"? I didn't answer. Prescription collected, I stopped at my old house, tried to have a conversation with my ex-partner, but she turned on the waterworks and tried the "guilt trip routine", she know's this won't work, so I left her with the ultimatum, move out by August 31st or she'll be forced out and I left it at that.
Instead of coming back home, I decided a walk was required, I sent my partner a text to say I was going for a walk to try and settle my head, the reply was, "but I need a cuddle"! I sent a simple text that read, "I'm going for a walk to try and clear my head", then turned my phone off so I wasn't pestered again. Or so I thought, I was walking on the regular route I take, I know it's around 3 kilometres and I get my steps in for the day, as I came out of the park, here is my partner sat in her car waiting for me, she got out, walked over and hugged me, saying, "I was scared you weren't coming back", I said, "where else am I going to go, I have my medication and I need to take some and sort out my Dossette box", "I'll give you a lift home then", she said, "no" I replied, "I'm getting my steps in, I'll see you when I get back". I then kept on walking.
By the time I got home, my head was butchered, I was thinking, "how can my luck be so bad, that I have to deal with two needy women as well as my own issues"? I went in, put the kettle on, asked her if she wanted a drink, she didn't reply, so I made my coffee, grabbed my meds and sat in the garden to try and relax.
Because of my financial situation, I'm like many and have to rely on a foodbank, my collection time was 2 pm, so I told her where I was going and she insisted on coming with me, I would only be gone 15 minutes at the most, but she had to tag along, I was too tired to argue, so off we went. When we got back, I started to unpack and sort out the frozen stuff, tinned and perishables and put them away, but she kept trying to interfere and put stuff int he wrong places, I asked her, "will you pleas leave my to sort this out, I like to put stuff away in an order that uses the older stuff first and nothing goes out of date", once again, she slammed the kitchen door in a huff and went into the bedroom. I carried on and decided I needed to reiterate my boundaires with her. I went into the bedroom, there was no sign, I looked out to find her car gone, I guessed she'd gone to her parent house, so I lokked up and went for another walk, a very long walk.
I must have been out 3 hours and hadn't taken my phone, when I got back, she was sat in her car with a face like thunder, she said, "I've been here for hours and you locked me out", I replied, "you'd gone out, said nothing, so I assumed you'd gone to your parents, so I locked up and went for a walk, if you've forgotten your keys, then that's your fault", I opened the door, walked in and she started cooking some food, the was no asking me what I wanted for dinner, she just started cooking. Eventually she said, "I'm making some carbonara, do you want some"? I was still so churned up, I wasn't hungry, I replied, "no thank you, I'm not hungry", "OK then", she said, "I'll make extra and if you want some there'll be plenty". I say doing some computer work, without taking much notice, when she carried through 2 plates of food and placed them on the table, "Dinners ready", says she, I said, "I told you I wasn't hungry and didn't want anything", slam went the kitchen door again and by now I was on the verge of exploding, I follwed her into the bedroom and said, "You said you were making dinner and there would be some extra and if I wanted and it would be there for me, you went ahead and put the food on the plate, serving it at the table, despite me telling you I didn't want anything and when I did, you slammed the kitchen door and went in the huff again, either get a grip, let me be me, stop fussing, stop undermining me, stop getting stroppy when you don't get your own way or you'll be out the door and classed as single". I took me all my efforts to not launch into a diatribe of foul and abusive language directed at her. I walked back into the dining room and here's the cat getting tucked into both plates, I shook my head and decided it was time for another walk.
It's now gone 10am, I've not had a single minute of sleep, my mind is like a dozen kaliedescopes trying to focus at once and I feel very ill. I can't do this anymore, I'm calling it a day. It's hard enough dealing with my own issues and having a demanding and constantly seeking attention mare is pushing me to the point of no return. Either she goes or I'll end up in a wooden box!