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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Toxic obsession with an ex who treats me like a hookup—should I just keep sleeping with him?

53 replies

HealingHeart8 · 22/07/2026 20:45

I fell in love with a guy and we became "official." Out of nowhere, after 8 months, he dumped me for no reason. Turns out he was cheating on me the whole time and had another woman. After a while, he came back, said he regretted it, and because I loved him, I believed him and took him back. But guess what? He hadn't dropped the other woman at all.
Looking back, I realize he never actually saw me as a girlfriend; he put zero effort into me and never even bought me a single gift. I was basically just a convenience to him. Furious, I went to find the other girl and told her everything. Instead of being reasonable, she blamed me, said "he's going to be mine," and literally kissed him right in front of my eyes. And get this: even though she knows he cheated on her too, she chose to stay with him because apparently, he's very good in bed.
That whole scene completely crushed my pride and it's eating me alive inside. Now, I don't want a relationship with him anymore, but I've developed this weird, unhealthy obsession—I can't seem to be intimate with anyone else, I can't stand anyone else touching me, and I keep craving his scent.
The guy is now messaging me saying, "Don't tell her anything, let's keep hooking up."
Should I go along with this and keep seeing him, or am I just doing myself a massive disservice and destroying my own self-respect? Has anyone else dealt with this kind of toxic fixation? How did you break it?

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 23/07/2026 15:30

HealingHeart8 · 23/07/2026 03:51

I used to work, now I get support from my family. As for the money part, this guy also took a sum of money from me and won't give it back; I've already taken him to small claims court

Are you looking for a job?

HealingHeart8 · 23/07/2026 15:37

EasternStandard · 23/07/2026 15:30

Are you looking for a job?

Yes

OP posts:
nc43214321 · 23/07/2026 19:08

Yes move on and focus on yourself and well being. This obsession is ruining your life.

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