Is something wrong with me?

[LuckySalem]

I'm a little worried about my relationship with people. I don't feel like I love my DP or my DD.

I keep having thoughts about how it would be easier to live without my DP as I wouldn't have to worry about waking him up during the day/checking if I can do stuff before I do it.
I go to bed at night and don't think anything of not getting a kiss goodnight.
I keep thinking maybe we should split up cos I don't feel anything but yet still keep thinking about having kids with him?

I'm the same with DD - when she goes to bed I just say goodnight and leave her but yet during the day i'm really interested in her (I don't think that's the right word) I play with her all day.

I try and rationalise myself saying its probably nothing but then I think about my parents who I know I love and I can feel that.

What is up with me?

sorry i dont understand what you think you should be doing with your dd when she is asleep?

You could have PND, have you considered it?
Or you could be plain tired as a new mum.

"I keep having thoughts about how it would be easier to live without my DP as I wouldn't have to worry about waking him up during the day/checking if I can do stuff before I do it."

erm, what? If you mean that how it reads to me then it sounds quite worrying.

Hi Fetch, yes that does sound odd, it didn't make sense did it?

I'm with norma - checking you do what stuff?

That could be the crux of this whole issue...

I mean when I put her down I don't give her a kiss goodnight or anything.

We had a problem about me going to visit some friends a few weeks ago and I just thought how easier it would be if I didn't have to ask/

Is there normally issues when you want to go out or socialise? I'm getting a bit worried - you shouldn't need permission to visit friends

I think op means she wouldn't have to ask his opinion on anything or consult him before doing things.

Why do you have to wake DP up in the day, does he work shifts? Why can't you decide to go out for yoursellf, bus, walk ?

Are you OK?

Only this time cos its a 500 mile round truip.

I have to make sure I dont' wake him cos he works nights.

Don't worry about not giving her a kiss, she won't know.
I used to be so exhausted I was thankful dd was asleep and leg it out of the room.

It's late now and i must away soon.

oh I see - so it was more "do you mind me going away" not "please may I see my friend and leave the house" ?

That makes me feel a bit better, tbh. How old is your DD?

Lucky,

Sorry I have to go to bed - hope these other lovely layyyydiiieees can help you

lucky - i don't think i kiss ds either when i put him to bed. i'm not even sure if i say night. i usually say something like "come on let's go and find your giraffe in your cot and go to bed"

Well he'll have to get used to you making some choices on your own during the day. He can have some peace while you get out for a walk or visit a friend or something. I can see the 500 mile trip would require a bit of planning.

I know what you mean about the bedroom routine. Usually I just want to get it all over with quickly and blow kisses as I'm legging it out of the room. Does sound like you're a bit depressed though, how old is your dd?

Oh ok i'm glad that's not gonna be an issue for her.

Yeh it was a do you mind if I go see my friends for a couple of days. Otherwise he just moans about having to work while I go "galavanting" LOL..

Thanks Norma...

DD is 6 months (in 2 weeks)

LuckySalem, you have a lovely oic on profile - goodnight from here too.

at 6m she won't even know if you kiss her or not at night - don't stress about that!

How's your eating/sleeping (baby allowing!)?

I wonder if you're a bit baby-blues-y? (or possibly PND)?

Can you find an online questionnaire and answer it honestly?

Sorry for the barrage of questions

I don't think i'm baby-bluesy. I thought I was at one point but I don't anymore (that was about 2 months ago now) I eat and sleep ok. sleeping is something to be desired at the mo cos DP is on holiday so I stay up with him till 1/2 is and then DD has me up at 5/6am. But i'll go for an hour in the after with her. But that's what babies do so not worried about that.

I was just worried that maybe I was with DP cos of DD and the fact I want more kids

and worried I was affecting DD - Like I imagined if soemthing was to happen to her how would I feel and I felt nothing.

hmm, not sure what to say really

I don't believe you're affecting DD at all; you play with her and interact, right?

When DS was born, up til about 2.5yrs old I could barely look at him. My mum still mostly bathes him and stuff like that - I just couldn't... it hasn't affected him, so I don't for a minute believe that not kissing her as a tiny baby at bedtime is damaging - not at all.

I don't know if anyone can say whether you're with DP for the reasons you say, other than you... maybe it's come to light a bit more because he's away so you're thinking "well, I can do it on my own, but I want XYZ so need him"?

I don't know, LS

hmmmm, I don't know whether it should matter IYKWIM.
I think its come up because he's on holiday at the moment so driving me insane. Sleeping till 11am (while I'm up at 5am... lol)

He kinda feels abit like a roommate/financial provider but not much else. Oh and 2nd child! lol.

I'm not a sexual person so we barely do it, and when we do I feel like i'm forcing myself to anyway so I wouldn't miss that, I wouldn't miss the company cos hes asleep most of day and works all night.

Oh maybe i'm just being overanalytical... or maybe i'm just looking for problems? I dunno... Sorry for troubling you guys.... but thanks for the reassurances about DD.