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Relationships

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Are these reasonable signs of cheating, or enough to end it?

36 replies

Alonegirl · Today 12:59

I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for about 8–9 months. We currently live in the same house with other people.
Last month, I had a miscarriage, and since then I've been struggling emotionally. I also have trust issues because of things that have happened during our relationship.
While I was pregnant, I saw a screenshot from one of his video calls. A girl was lifting her crop top and showing him her breasts. We had a huge argument. He told me she was his sister. He even showed me his call history and said he had first called his cousin, who lives with his mother and sister, and then handed the phone to his sister during the call. He said that in their culture this kind of thing is normal. After that incident, he changed his phone number.
We had also talked about moving out and getting a place together without our friends, but later he told me he wanted to live alone and wasn't interested in living with his girlfriend.
He almost never tells me he loves me or expresses affection with words. Sometimes he does thoughtful things for me, but I rarely receive verbal reassurance or affection.
Last Sunday, he went to another city to visit his male friend. After that, he disappeared until Tuesday morning. His internet was off the entire time, and I was terrified because I thought something bad had happened to him. On Tuesday morning, I realized he had gone home to change his clothes before work, and later I saw him crossing the street as I was walking home.
Another thing that really bothers me is that on Monday morning he texted me saying he was going to work. However, last night I found out from one of his friends that he never went to work that day—he had actually taken the day off.
This morning, I confronted him about it and told him I knew he hadn't gone to work. He admitted that he hadn't, but said he was going to tell me the truth when he got home. That explanation doesn't make sense to me because he had already told me he was at work, so it still feels like he lied.
What hurts even more is that when I had my miscarriage last month, he didn't even take a full day off to be with me. He only took a few hours off. But this time, he took an entire day off without telling me and lied about going to work.
I'm going to post the messages he sent me below.
Based on everything I've written, do you think these are signs that he's cheating, or could there be another explanation? I'm already questioning this relationship, but before I end it, I want outside opinions to know whether my suspicions are reasonable.

Are these reasonable signs of cheating, or enough to end it?
OP posts:
istherereallytimeforallthat · Today 17:15

You are not happy in the relationship and that is enough to end it. You need no proof or any other reason to finish with him.Flowers

Toffeepieandcream · Today 17:48

Please do not have a child with this vile man. You should end the relationship, he is treating you like dirt xx

Bananalanacake · Today 18:52

Was she wearing a bra under the crop top, so maybe he didn't see her nipples. Either way it's not good, definitely don't move in with him.

Fiendishandfiery · Today 20:42

Bananalanacake · Today 18:52

Was she wearing a bra under the crop top, so maybe he didn't see her nipples. Either way it's not good, definitely don't move in with him.

What part of showing her breasts says to you she was wearing a bra. Confused

FaceIt · Today 21:00

Why on earth are you putting yourself through so much misery with this arsehole.

You’re so young, find someone who loves and cares about you, because he most definitely doesn’t.

An important lesson in life is to know when to stop flogging a dead horse.

TheFormerMrsTruelove · Today 21:00

How many times and how badly does he have to hurt you before you put yourself before him?

Yes he’s cheating. Of course he’s cheating. Nobody that wasn’t desperate to believe he was being honest and faithful would believe that bollocks about it being his sister. If you really want to know how he feels about you, remind yourself that he let you go through a horrendous experience by yourself because he’d only take a couple of hours off work. He took a whole day off to have sex with another woman.

This creature is a mill stone around your neck. He’s not good enough. Not for you or anyone else. There is no part of him that is worthy of all this importance and space you’re giving him in your life 💐

Nousernameideaaga · Today 21:03

I stopped reading after his sister flashed her boobs at him. That would have been the end for me

ExplodingSmittens · Today 21:03

Sorry OP I didn’t read part him saying he keeps a photo of his DSister showing her tits on his phone.

So he’s either lying or into incest. Neither of which make him a good partner.

BingoWingoForties · Today 21:23

Being in love shouldn't be this hard, it's way too much drama, you're young and need more self esteem. He doesn't bring anything good to your life.

AgathaX · Today 21:34

Bloody hell. He's a twat, he doesn't care about you, doesn't respect you.
Why would you possibly want to be in a relationship with such in inadequate 'man'?

BauhausOfEliott · Today 21:34

Christ alive. Have some dignity. He’s treating you like absolute shit. Why on earth haven’t you already dumped him? And please, please sort out your contraception.

You sound extremely naive and vulnerable and this man doesn’t give the slightest shit about you.

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