“Men can’t be single”

[RubiconSparkling]

I’ve been wondering this for a while.
I keep seeing people say that men can’t cope on their own and always need to be in a relationship. But then I also see loads of women saying they can’t find a man who actually wants a relationship because all men seem to want is sex or something casual.
Maybe I’m missing something, but those two things don’t really seem to go together.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that most of the worry about being single or finding a partner seems to come from women. You don’t seem to see men talking about it nearly as much.
Curious what other people think..? If men can’t be single and need to be in relationships as much as people claim why do so many women say they have trouble finding a man that wants a relationship as all most men want is sex?

Sorry what?
Where did you dream all that up?

I had to go back and read your post, because I don't remember seeing that either 😂

Your post made me smile (the no-fish photo! Yes, that's a good start)

What is MAFS?

Good luck in finding your lady. I often hear from my own (lovely) DP how frustrating it is for a good man that the rubbish men out there have given men as a whole a bad name.

This, to me, is such a phenomenally insightful post.

Assume MAFS = Married At First Sight.

100% agree with your husband btw.

Married at First site, don't watch much trashy telly but have the odd exception!

MAFS = Married at First Sight, I think.

And yes @FloydPink does sound like a rare gem!

'A relationship' can mean quite different things to a man or to a woman. A goodly number of men would be happy with a woman at home doing his washing, cooking his food, providing sex in a nice clean bed, while he goes to work, comes home for his dinner then out with his mates for the evening, or gaming, and does his hobby at the weekend. It's the services that a relationship will provide for him that he wants, not the relationship itself. While a woman will want to actually do a spot of relating.

Thanks but not sure that I am - have a few friends who are similar, just normal guys! There are plenty out there. But also have friends who are maybe slightly more old fashioned, less emotionally aware etc... and they generally do far better than me on the apps!

Funnily enough my daughter says yesterday - "I didn't understand the female stay in the kitchen stereotype until recently". I asked why and it was because since she was born, I cooked 98% of the meals, made lunches etc.. But then sees that with her friends its the mum doing the same thing!

But they are not talking about men needing sex they specifically say men cant be alone and need to be in a relationship

I've seen and heard it in RL to explain why men move on so fast - from bravement or divorce or seperation.

Truth is some men want to be in relationship others don't same as women.

Women if they want kids have more limited time to find a partner and feel more social pressure or more aware of biological limits.

Quiet a few men we know at late 40s or 50s are suddenly ready to settle down and have kids and are suprised women aren't as keen - or already have kids and don't want marriage or even to live together till kids are much older or never.

Generalisations like that stem from personal hurt, a self-absorbed sense of judging entire groups of people based on subjective views, I usually stop reading or listening when the sentence starts with "all women are" or "all men are". Anyone believing they have an entire gender figured out with one broad brushstroke is callous and blind, at least.

There are men who can't be on their own, there are men who are happy to be on their own. And on the other side, there are women who just can't be on their own, and other women who are happy to be themselves. Simple as that.

Stop being so logical. This is MN. This is no place for common sense.

A goodly number of men would be happy with a woman at home doing his washing, cooking his food, providing sex in a nice clean bed, while he goes to work, comes home for his dinner then out with his mates for the evening, or gaming, and does his hobby at the weekend.

That's pretty much the relationship I had with my DH but he's leaving me, saying he never asked for a tradwife, and he liked that I used to be independent have ambition.

The recent New Statesman article suggest the opposite applies in the young women of today.

I think there's more warnings for women still -despite IVF and surrogacy becoming common in media circles for older women - that women do have a limited window of fertlity.

That's despite fact medicine increasingly finding older fathers are a source of gentic problems and can have conception issues themselves - there seems less messaging directed at men.

Social economic factors have pushed parental ages of both sexes up - and many now decide parenthood not something they want at all - but in RL I don't see women hitting 50 and deciding now the time they are ready for parenthood or to settle down they do it earlier though not as early as in past.

I mean I think the big reason that it doesn't make sense is that what you've said there includes a load of massive stereotypes and sweeping statements.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. The point I was making was that the New Statesman research suggested when young (I think they were talking under 25) men were more in favour than young women of the idea of ever having children and certainly having them sooner. The trend seems to be young women loosing interest in families.

As for the idea of suddenly wanting to have kids in your 50s I'm not sure that is common in either sex. It is more of an option for men than women so if it is seen it will be seen among men, but I tend to find people aren't converting to wanting children at that point.