AIBU- Text exchange with partner

[whiteumbrella]

By way of background, I’m 47, partner is 53. Ben together 4.5yrs, live apart. every time we see each other (once a fortnight, we are intimate multiple times including 2 weeks ago)
Currently worried about investigations for change in bowel habit and abdominal pain and job being on the line through no fault of my own, HR involved.
I Haven’t been responding to his daily/sometimes several times a day, frankly juvenile sex messages about how horny he is these part few weeks.
this is our last text exchange:
Him: U definitely lost your libido babe
Me: I know 🤷🏻‍♀️. Hopefully this pain resolved soon.
Him: What will I do with my unsexual, unhorny, dry middle aged babe 🥲🥲
Me: Find another sex toy i guess
Me: Dick
Him: Oh u spoilt little princess
Him: Bitch

i’ve blocked him which I know is a bit juvenile, but I can’t stand any communication with him right now. AIBU for ending a 4.5yr relationship by blocking and ghosting?

He’s dreadful. I can’t believe you’re even asking.

Unacceptable. Definitely keep him blocked.

Keep him blocked that's atrocious. Not one ioata of sympathy for what you are going through at all, just adding to your stress.

Good god he's disgusting. Please just block and move on. And I hope you get some answers soon

Vile.

Don't unblock.

He doesn't care that you're in pain, your only role is to service him.

If this is your usual texting, he's maybe trying to be funny. Have you explained whats going on. If you have and he's mot being supportive then ditch him. Some men just push their luck.

So he knows you're worried and having tests, but his thoughts are only of getting his dick serviced. Calling you 'dry' and 'middle aged' seems rather nasty. I don't think you're unreasonable at all OP. I wouldn't bother unblocking.

It sounds like a casual sex relationship for both of you which I assume has suited you both in the past. You now want a grown up partner/relationship and realise this isn’t it.

Has the tone of his communications always been like this? YANBU to now want different things but after 4.5 years I think I would at least send a text telling him that you want a more grown up relationship and that’s not going to be with him.

He sounds from that exchange like someone worth keeping blocked.
What are your usual texts like?
dh and I sometimes insult each other (more in person though, we aren’t big texters) but it’s playful and in jest. And in context. And neither of us take offence because we know it’s a joke, we laugh at ourselves and don’t take things too seriously.
But that text conversation in isolation looks unkind and uncaring, cold and like he’s just using you for sex.
I’ve got an operation coming up, dh has already moved things around so he can take me and pick me up (I’ve asked him not to stay and wait), has sorted stuff for ds next week so I can rest and recover, he’s cancelled some prebooked plans so he will be home in case I need him (I don’t anticipate needing him, I think I’ll be fine and he should be able to make the things originally planned). These are the things that show someone they care about you.

We always planned to move in together when my daughter goes to uni in 2years, say I love you, met each other’s family & friends and thought it was serious.
I do not speak this way and we have definitely never used the word bitch.

You’re really scraping the barrel here with this one. Keep him blocked and move on.

I can’t call it as first time thought it was offensive then read it again and seems banter as your replies are in the same tone

all depends if this is how you would normally talk to each other

Ahh you’ve updated whilst I was typing I’ll stick with my 1st opinion

Was he always like that?. Surely there was something besides sex in the relationship?.I can't imagine what he was like before this. All the best OP.

He's absolutely disgusting. Jesus Christ.

He Is really awful. What a thing to say to you. I hope things work out with your health and job.

The dry and middleaged comment would have been enough to shut this down.
Don’t just block like a teenager without telling him it is over and he collect any of his things at your house and retune any of yours at his by x date and then just don’t have any more discussion or correspondence. Then block.

End it purely because he calls you babe lol

Well at least you know where his priorities lie before you moved in together…. Can you imagine dealing with this self-indulgent cretin while dealing with your real life issues at home?

Blocking and ghosting is childish. Just speak to him, like a grown up. Explain that you found his reaction and language offensive, and that you don’t want to be in a relationship with him any more.

Jeez, if a man text that to me you wouldn’t see me for dust. Is this all you think you’re worth? Get rid of this disgusting overgrown teenager asap and raise your standards.

Now you know how he will treat you when you are ill and / or have serious worries. He doesn’t care about you. At best you might call him a fair weather friend. I’d call him a cunt.

Wow. That’s awful.
This is how he treats you when things are not going well for you? Where is the care and consideration?

Ugh, he's disgusting.

Actually this brought up a memory of a couple of years ago when I was having a serious allergic reaction and panicking and he had a huge strop because he didn’t get sex that day 😕I ended up apologising to him!