AIBU for wanting my partner to contribute more financially?

[purplefern1]

Me and DP have been together for 7 years. When we started dating we earned more or less the same but as time went on, I progressed in my career while he was mostly unhappy in his jobs with little motivation to change up until 3 years ago. He also racked up a large credit card debt and still paying this off.

We live in the South, and although our joint income is over 100k, it doesn’t reach far. He can’t afford to go on holidays with me or cover any unexpected expenses. We pay 50/50 on bills, mortgage etc and it did cross my mind to contribute more but given his credit card fiasco that he had hidden from me, I feel resentful.

I grew up in a family where men were high achievers and the breadwinners and this situation feels uncomfortable to me. I am happy to go 50/50 but knowing that I am the only one with savings is daunting.

AIBU for wanting my partner to be able to contribute to our financial security more?

You’re your own worst enemy! Obviously when talking about sharing the household chores it doesn’t mean doing each one 50/50.
Take turns to cook, the one not cooking has to clear up. One person does the laundry, the other irons it and puts it away. One person vacuums the house every week, the other cleans the windows. So a fair division of labour!

I don't think this is the man for you for all the reasosns you've stated, @purplefern1 .

Has he reigned in his spending, while he's paying off the debt?

I couldn't fancy a man that lacks ambition, and I sure as hell wouldn't set up shop with one that's secretly running up debt and endangering our financial stability. I can be broke and in a precarious situation by myself.

You're not unreasonable for thinking he is a possible liability. If he's not being transparent and sensible now, prepare to let him go - before you have any children (if you want them).