Concerned about Ex’s extreme religious beliefs

[JammyDodgerandTea]

Hiya, seeking advice about a concerning situation involving my ex. (2 DC) I’ve posted about him before getting heavily into Catholicism very quickly after we separated. Got oldest confirmed, matching religious t-shirts with DC, created weird AI images of himself with a halo and gods light shining on him etc. He also sends me heavily preachy TikTok videos.

This week he’s been texting some concerning stuff involving him having two demons living inside him for years which he has recently got rid of - he also mentioned how the Virgin Mary has visited him 4 times this week and how our oldest has been seeing and hearing things.

He also mentioned how he wants to get our youngest (ASD) confirmed but it wouldn’t be possible, he described him as an “angel with a broken wing” WTF 😳

So, I’m very concerned about the things he’s saying. What would you do? He’s always had an addictive personality and becomes hyper fixated on certain things then moves on but it’s worrying the talk of demons living inside him 😱

Is he seeing a mental health team? He sounds psychotic/possible schizophrenia to be honest with you. But if he gets medication he’ll be much better.

Yeah reading this again I would definitely get him seen by a mental health professional. Could be bi polar.

my step uncle is schizophrenic but medicated and last time I was in A&E I saw and spoke to a charming young man who was schizophrenic but talked of being possessed and seeing the devil and using the colour red to draw. This was before he was admitted into a psychiatric hospital.

If he's an ex, I would focus on keeping you and your kids protected from it. Keep in mind he could be abusive also. Mind games and manipulation can be a part of it. And leave your ex's family to deal with him. You've enough on your plate really

Yeah that crossed my mind and when we were together he definitely had manic episodes and strange ideas. But he was medicated and calmed down but my worry is that he’s stopped taking his antidepressants as he thinks god will cure him

He was abusive in the marriage, he’s gone to an extreme now but could be more mind games to mess with my head. He is definitely not mentally right though.

So both his parents are bipolar and when we were married a nurse wanted him to get assessed for it but he had another health issue and didn’t end up getting assessed. I do think he’s bi polar.

That’s the worrying thing if he stops taking his meds then these thoughts will continue.

I know nothing about hereditary mental health conditions but I’d strongly suggest you try to get him to see a mental health professional. Don’t bother with a GP, they’re useless. If he is at least bipolar it’s imperative he takes his medication regularly. My uncle luckily returned home to rep Ireland and a mental health nurse gives him a regular injection. As he’s living in a village everyone knows him too and understands him and keeps an eye out for him. PM me if you’d like to.

Yeah, that's not religiosity, that sounds like mental illness.

Is this the one where the kids live with him and you don’t see them?

I would be calling social services and say you are concerned he’s hearing voices.

No, he definitely doesn't sound mentally right! Maybe you should block him on tiktok just in case.

I wonder if you could pretend that don't notice anything for awhile. And if you don't let him know you're worried about what the kids are saying either. Just in case he's looking for a reaction off you to all this.

If you stand back and just observe his behaviour for awhile, it might help you see things clearer

Is access to the kids court-ordered?

I'd be getting some advice on how to protect your dc - I'd be concerned in case he decides they have demons inside or something and what he might do to them physically to "save" them. I'd also be concerned about the ideas and fears he might instill in them.

I'd be hoping to change to supervised contact only.

One is with me and the oldest is (alienated) with his Dad. He’s beginning to sound like one of those cult leaders you see on Netflix! It’s concerning what the oldest is being exposed to now. It did worry me him swung how DS was now hearing and seeing stuff too 😳

I worry cos he’s clever he would say it was “metaphorical” demons and how I took it literally but he said there was two demons that have been inhabiting him for years and even named one of them. He said the house is now serene and holy 😯

I was going to say something similar.
He needs an assessment by a Mental Health Professional as a matter of urgency.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this, it must be very worrying. x

But if he's texting all this, you have the evidence of what he's saying.

My Counsellor told me to keep the messages just in case I might need them one day

I was brought up quite strictly as an RC. I now consider myself an atheist, but attended RC schools, mass on Sundays, etc. I would say this is far from being ‘normal’ RC even for newly converted.

Religious delusional beliefs are quite common in manic episodes as they’re linked to the sufferer feeling powerful. Antidepressants wouldn’t work and would likely make the matter worse. He really needs a mental health assessment but unlikely to agree as he’s probably lacking in insight.

you could do the following:-—contact his GP. Although you’re no longer his nok as the mother of his kids they may listen to you
-if he has access or custody of the kids you could make a safeguarding referral to social services for the kids. Actually you could do a safeguarding referral to Adult Social Care for him too
-you can discuss him with local mental health crisis lines. Call 111 and press option 2.

-if he can be persuaded to go to a&e they will have a mental health liaison service. He can be assessed there and referrals made for support.

IF (and it’s a big IF) he engages, he may need medication and support, this may mean informal admission if he agrees, or intensive support (community teams offering daily visits for a week or two at a time) or Early Intervention in Psychosis if it’s a first episode. (Psychosis happens on both bipolar disorder or other conditions like schizophrenia but it’s not likely he will get one of these diagnoses during his first episode)
-medication wise he could be prescribed either an antipsychotic medication or a short course of something like diazepam to help calm him down. Longer term if a diagnosis of bipolar is made he could be considered for a mood stabiliser. This would be alongside psychological intervention to help him cope with symptoms himself.
-detention under the MHA might be considered but this is very much a last resort if there are clear risks to himself and/or others and less restrictive options have been unsuccessful or not felt appropriate.

good luck.

It sounds like you won't be able to persuade him to see a mental health professional if he doesn't think there's anything wrong with him. I would definitely speak to social services about your son though as that sounds concerning. How much contact are you having with your son at the moment? How much time is your youngest spending with his dad?

Omg. He needs to see someone asap. That way of thinking (the 2 demons) is a sign of a mental health disorder and he definitely needs medication/therapy. He may even need to be hospitalised for a short time.

Is there family or friends of his (mutual maybe?) who could talk to him /persuade him maybe go with him, to a psych ward?

My step uncle took too many trips (lsd) in Amsterdam in 70s which triggered his schizophrenia and his mum came over to england to take him back to Ireland. He wouldn’t touch plugs, was scared of electricity. She saved his life basically. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia back in Ireland and then medicated and lived with his mother until she died. I think luckily he stayed out of mental institutions. Very clever and handsome man.

I haven't read the other replies so sorry if this is a duplicate. As far as I am aware most cities have a psychosis service you can self refer to, or concerned family can. In Leeds for example it is Aspire.
Your GP can probably advise you on your local service. Its tricky as he is an ex but I would be concerned with some of the remarks he has said about the children as such ask them to look at assessing risk.
If tour struggling to get anywhere you could contact social services and raise a concern. They can then liaise with your ex's GP.

Sorry, I jumped in with the above but I read your question and thought there was some red flags for potential psychosis.

To be fair and it may vary from health authority but when I needed an urgent mental health review (severe not sleeping, severe anxiety and psychosis and suicidal) and went to my GP they told me to go to A&E to be assessed. Wouldn’t do anything else at all. So I did go to A&E and that way was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. My mental health illness was menopause related. My GPs were sort of ok when I was released and had medication. And this is a good GP practice.

https://slam.nhs.uk/service-detail/service/treatment-team-croydon-west-229/