Partner prioritising son’s mental health and I miss him terribly

[Irishlady90]

I really need some advice as I don't know what to do, I've been in a relationship for just over six months, we have both said that we love each other, the problem is we live an hour away from each other and haven't seen him the past month because of work , children, and neither of us drive so we rely public transport, we were meant to be meeting this weekend but his son who is 14 is now staying with him as his son is going through some mental health issues, I don't want to sound selfish but I miss my partner so much but he says the most important thing right now is sorting out his son , I feel like I would be intruding on there father/son time if I go up there this weekend I know I'm probably sounding selfish but I really miss my partner and he says he misses me to , haven't seen him before n give weeks, we video call but it is not the same any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you

He's rightly prioritizing his son over a gf of a few months. Back off and let him deal with his kid.

Were all the excuses, including work, totally coming from his side so that you two couldn't meet in a month?

I would assume you don't know him well enough yet to know if his excuses are real or BS.

If he sees you as a longterm partner, it seems like if you were a priority, on a workday when his son was at school, that he could take some time off of work to at least meet you halfway for lunch, or to come your way for a few hours. He'd be putting in some sort of effort.

You could always set an internal timeline, such as two months, to see if he's worth continuing to date, or if that lack of togetherness is a dealbreaker for you. Try for now to let him be the one to usually initiate contact as a better gauge if he's into you or not. He might be a coward in breaking up, and hoping you tire of him and do that dirty deed yourself. So if you lessen initiating and he lets you fade away, you have your answer.

It's good to be patient if his son is truly going through something. But if this goes on for several months, it seems like he should be the one saying: I can't be a good partner right now and this situation is going to be ongoing. I understand if you don't want to continue.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.