Struggling with my husband's cross-dressing and what it could mean

[Stressed78]

Hi all, looking for advice. My husband crossdresser, he told me before we got married, but I didn't realise the extent of it/thought it was just a silly thing. We've been married now for a couple of months and it seems to be spiralling,with him buying stuff online and wanting to remove body hair, he says it's a compulsion and he just needs to do it every now and then and things seem to be escalating not just with the crossdressing but things in the bedroom seem to be getting a bit, unusual, wanting p*ing and him doing stuff to one of the very anotmically correct "toys" he's bought. He used to be in a relationship with a trans female years ago also. When I write it all down it sounds insane, like how have I been so blind to not see that he's clearly got some sexuality/gender issues. Outside of all this stuff he's a wonderful husband and father, honestly couldn't credit him enough on that front, but it is affecting my attraction to him and making me worry that one day he's going to say he's gay or trans and the whole marriage has been a sham. I don't know much about the crossdressing scene or anything so if I've used to the wrong words or come across rude about it I don't mean to, I'm just not sure how to word things properly! Has anyone got any experience with this? Everything I'm reading online makes it sound like it's just a step on the way to full blown transitioning and it's inevitable.

It pretty mean he has left the full extent of it until you were married.

I would not stay in this marriage and only you know what you can tolerate.

Also just to add , OP is afraid her husband will transition , or leave her cause he’s gay .
She is looking for opinions, Is this just a bedroom interest, but he’s happy with his life with her & their children, or are these warning signs.

I am broadminded but this is a clear case of someone lying to their partner.

The OP has now found out that there is much more to her husband's fetish than simply wearing women's clothes.

She is perfectly entitled to end the relationship over this.

It is not 'narrow-minded' to expect honesty and not to want to be forced to have sex with a partner in a way that does not appeal to her.

It means he likes dressing in Women’s clothes, and from what you’re saying he’s getting a bit adventurous in other ways too, i’d say he’s just quirky and clearly has fantasies he wants to carry out, the question is does that align with what you want in the future, if it does let him be what he wants to be (but be clear about what you find acceptable and what you don’t) if it doesn’t then move on and get your wardrobe back 😉

Exactly this, I just left a relationship because he liked dressing as a woman. Like you, he used me as a 'cover ...
It was all a sham. Please get your life sorted and get away from this guy.

Ah hold on here now for a second.
Firstly who said anything about being forced into anything ??
Secondly, agreed he wasn’t completely honest , but to be fair he did tell OP he dated a trans woman before , that does kinda tell you really his sexual preferences.

What’s a “trans female?”

Is it a bloke in women’s clothing who shags your husband up the arse?

Oh OP, I’m sorry, how deceitful.

He may be entitled to be whoever he wants to be but you are entitled not to put up with it. Don’t agree to anything you are not comfortable with, you didn’t sign up for this.

Yeah the fact that he waited till you were married to do all this is pretty messed up. You didn’t sign up for this. He was disingenuous. And it sounds like he’s into men…or an autogynophile.

I mean I suppose you knew he was bi already because he was with a transwomen and sexuality is based on sex not gender.

Unfortunately it might be time to go tbh.

I mean you could have a conversation with him and tell him you aren’t into the stuff he wants so won’t be doing that anymore but…there’s always a chance that’ll send him straight onto grinder when he realises he can’t get the sort of sex he wants from you. If he isn’t on there already as many married ‘straight” men are.

Might be wise to cut your losses.

And this is just another example of why we should never ever have children with men before marriage, incase anyone reading this is considering it. Make them take the steps of commitment first and give it time once married to see that they make good husbands.

Exactly!