Lonely

[LonelyLoserr]

Life as a single mum is so unbelievably lonely, If I knew that it would have been this lonely i definitely would have made different decisions and just stayed with my ex. Can anyone else relate? (And no it doesn’t get better, I’ve been single for years it gets worse and more lonely)

Could you pay a babysitter for a couple of hours or get them into any clubs?

No unfortunately not

😂

Hilarious. Not.

They go to clubs but they are on different days at different times because they don’t share the same interests.

If you don’t relate feel free to post on another thread as I will not be engaging any further with either poster.

No because you have 10 children?

No because one of them has a disability and would need a specially trained babysitter?

No because they’re old enough to have their own children?

Oh okay.

I mean, you didn’t engage meaningfully anyway tbh.

I will not be engaging any further with you.

From what i can make out you are associating you’re loneliness with not having a partner, dating is hard because you have to kiss way more frogs these days before you find a prince, and where do you start? well i would say not Tinder from what i’ve been told, so maybe seek out a more grown up dating platform or go to a local speed dating event, failing that try and get out and do things you enjoy and maybe you’ll meet someone that enjoys the same things as you do. You may even find that just chatting and flirting with people online would do wonders for your loneliness in the short term.

Maybe check your attitude. You are very rude!

Yeah I’m the rude one, I don’t come onto someone’s thread to say I don’t relate to them and laugh at them? Ok.

Yes I’m the rude one.

I was trying to help. I just got nothing back from you. Ages? Amount of kids? Disabilities? Nothing. Do you have babies? Late teens? Who knows? So what help do you want? Then you say all you asked was ‘can anyone relate?’ and so someone answered, giving no further information, like you requested.

There was a perfect answer. You wanted to know ‘can anyone relate?’ And you didn’t like that either somehow.

I have not said you were rude. But somehow you have insinuated I am.

I didn’t come on here to post my life story but you know what I won’t be coming back to this thread I don’t even know why I still post on here it’s an absolutely vile place and people constantly warn me to stay away from this place because of how toxic it is! I should listen to them.

I think loneliness is the worst thing, and it can come at any time, and to any of us. Sometimes it is transient (despite being surrounded by others) sometimes it is because you are alone for a while with your circumstances. Regardless, it isn't easy. And, it is not that easy to solve. People say "you should join a club" "you should get out more" "make new friends" "find your tribe" but it isn't that easy. I haven't had a lot of it in my life, but the few times I have had it, it has been grim, went to bed hoping for a better day tomorrow, and usually it did. I am sorry that I am not being that helpful with advice, but just wanted to acknowledge your post, and that it is a proper thing. xxx

Gently, how can anyone know if they relate without knowing if they're in an any way vaguely similar situation. There are millions of users on MN, revealing a few clues won't out you.
There's plenty of lonely people in relationships and many solo parents with no support, but have close friends and hobbies and don't feel lonely.
You say it's also been many years, but your DC don't sound old enough to be left alone. No one here wants to add to your feelings negatively, some may even be able to help.

I can relate, it can definitely be lonely sometimes but getting the parts of your life that you have control over as good as possible helps a lot eg. making a couple of solid friends and doing things you enjoy when you can. I think it's quite hard to find a really great partner who will add a lot of happiness to your life. I do hope for that but I'm not holding my breath. Have you considered getting a dog? They are great companions and give your social life an automatic boost as everyone talks to you when you're out and about, might cheer you up a bit?

So many posters are unnecessarily mean.
Im sorry you feel lonely, one of the very worst feelings without an easy solution. Been there and wish you the best

I understand. I used to feel lonely too. I think can and would meet someone. But are you putting yourself out to meet new people! I don't and that's why I struggle to make friends. It's a hard and scary thing to do but I think if you want to a club or something you're interested in, and put yourself out there slowly you might feel a bit less lonely :) I'm 33 and have a 13 year old. I've felt very lonely in the past but I hope you can feel happier one day.

Loneliness is hard and it isn't as easily solvable as people think -the advice is always around joining a group, starting a hobby (hobbies on MN fascinate me "we met doing our shared hobby") going on dating apps etc.
But although those things offer distraction and time with other people they don't necessarily solve the problem and it isn't that easy to just make friends when you are an adult. Plus I think loneliness seeps into your bones and erodes your self confidence.
I don't have a magic answer for you OP but I do relate to feeling lonely and to finding it hard to change that situation. I think people who offer the "join a group" answers mean well but maybe haven't really experienced loneliness.

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely 🙁 it's hard being a single parent if you never get time to go out and see friends. Have you tried online chat forums for single parents?
https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/your-community/

Gingerbread is a charity that supports single parents and you can find other single parents to chat to.

On MN you have access to a wide range of opinions, some people are genuinely lovely and will offer you good advice, some will tell you things that you might find hard to stomach but are said with the best of intentions, unfortunately you also have a few Karen’s, a few Keyboard warriors that have no balls whatsoever until they are hiding behind a username, and, well, the worst of the worst, the ones that are always right even when they are wrong, nasty, undermining and are only here to make you feel shit, you just need to learn how to spot them and when you do, well, either ignore them or go all out and tear them a new arsehole. Your choice 😆

No one has to win here. Site is to help each other. It would make you both feel better to just stop and get on with your night