Don’t like dp making jokes at my expense

[Lippyblippy]

This has happened a number of times now. Dp makes comic capital out of me in front of others. In other words he makes jokes at my expense then does the usual thing when I object of saying I can’t take a joke; ‘everyone else got it’, etc.

I’ve tried explaining that I don’t find it funny. It’s belittling and he is trying to get a cheap laugh at my expense.

Of course, then comes the gaslighting … ‘are you okay? This isn’t you’

That makes me even more angry if I’m honest. He fails to understand how misogynistic his strategies are. I’ve seen this happen with my friend who experiences the same (laughing at not with) by her dp and 2 adult sons.

I think I’ve had enough. Short of calling it a day, is there anything else I can do to make him see this for what it is?

Well I had a couple of friends (couple friends) that did this but would go on and on and never direct it at anyone else. My dh would laugh along and sometimes join in the milder stuff. I was an easy target because I’d laugh along out of awkwardness. Eventually I had enough and when we were all together I called them all out, told them it’s not funny, it’s bullying and if it carries on I won’t be seeing any of them again. It caused a scene and an atmosphere and spoilt the evening but I didn’t care. Never happened again. I think it just crept into being the norm and a habit that didn’t register as anything but ‘banter’ which I hate.

If you have told him and it’s still happening you need to dump him. He has no respect for you. He knows it’s upsetting you and he doesn’t care.

Hes a cruel and disrespectful cunt. Dump him

No, you can’t make him see. He thinks you’re the one with the problem.

dump him and feel relieved

He knows exactly what he is doing. He is a bully and he enjoys putting you down because in his very small brain he thinks it makes him look good. Most people will see him for the prick he is. When will you?

Why won't you call it a day?

He chooses to hurt you, despite you telling him how you feel. He then chooses to tell you that you being hurt is your fault.

It isn’t.

This is all on him and his choices.

You have choices too. You could choose to be with someone who loves and respects you.

Next time he does this in front of people, call him out by saying, "Don't talk about me like that. I don't go around telling everyone about your micro-penis, do I?"

Agreeing with everyone else, here!
He’s a knob. Dump his arse.

Now 2 wrongs don’t make a right, BUT, have some fun, get your girly mates around and play him at his own game, bring out the tiny penis and 3 minute pump and squirt jokes and see how he likes it, then afterwards you can say ‘are you okay? This isn’t you’

It’s just a laugh, you should understand that better than most because you do it every time we go out, i thought you’d find it funny.

Not on he shouldn't do this

@Seriphiacandytotz That sounds tough. Your post might get lost in someone else's thread though, so maybe you could start a thread if you want to.

Next time he's naked have a good laugh.

Out with friends ?start a chat about micro penis men and eye him up and down..

He knows what he’s doing.

What will you do?

I think there’s little point in discussing it with him but do try to.

He’s nasty to keep doing this to you.

Don’t endure more humiliation. End it.

Thanks for all your comments. Just an update:

I’ve called it a day. It was scary as we’d been together (lived separately) for 15 years. It came to a head when I asked him to leave my home and he wouldn’t (he had come over for a few days). Eventually, he did go but out of anger not because he had respected my asking him to go. When he wouldn’t go, I kind of felt trapped in my own home which I never want to feel so I followed up his exiting with a text saying that I don’t want to be with someone who belittles me and who won’t leave my home when asked.

I’m feeling confused, very hurt, sad and lost. Any advice on how to get through this period? I’m in my 60s, very few friends, grown up children who live away and have their own lives now.

Well done. You are a woman with standards and self respect. He will try to worm his way back so I would block him.

I am in my sixties and am very happily single. I have adult DC who live about two hours away but I see them regularly and we go away on long weekends together. I also have theatre/dinner trips with groups of friends as well as holidays. Do try to develop some new friendships. You will have capacity for that now you are single.

I also do stuff alone. It’s great not having to compromise. Tell DC and friends that you will need help for a short time to distract you and get your mojo back.

I hope you get the support you need. It’s a new phase for you and you get to choose how it goes. 💐

Congratulations.

Expect him to come back with his tail between his legs in a few days. Hopefully you will give him and his small dick energy very short shrift.

You should be proud of yourself. You deserve so much better, and have freed up space in your life for better.

Brava for standing up for your dignity and self-respect, OP.

I am in my 60s, still partnered but absolutely clear that I will be fine if he leaves/passes, because I have a rich life filled with interests, activities, and friends. The 60s is actually a great time - you're increasingly freed from the time-consuming obligations of family and you don't give much of a shit about people's opinions of you anymore. My single friends (50s, 60s, 70s, and one in her 80s) are having a whale of a time. Some are dating - I advise you to check out Burned Haystack Dating method on FB (Jennie Young) for making online dating safe and intentional (no wasting time with creeps, twats, or dangerous men) - and some will never partner again because they love single life. And we have each other's backs.

Every door that closes reveals all the doors that are open to you.

There's more, so much more, for you out there, OP.

Well done. Be careful. Maybe consider changing the locks? Get a ring camera? A man who behaves like this is unlikely to go quietly. The bad mouthing you to mutual friends will start soon as well.

Well done for putting the rubbish out! Life is too short to put up with this nonsense. I’m 62 & lost my partner in January. I would rather stay on my own forever than put up with someone like him.

My advice would be to get out and about and have some contact socially. Even a five minute chat is uplifting. My usual ploy is to admire a dog and ask questions about it. I live overseas so I get to practice the language too.
Develop a relaxing beauty regime…
Friday night is G&T and film night.
Day out somewhere interesting.
Have a clear out and free up some space to breathe.
Join the local WhatsApp group (not for moaning, but there is usually something sociable on ours).
Does your area have a ‘clean up’ day?
Local twinning group?
Golf lessons?
Exercise class?
Best advice though, get a dog if circumstances allow or volunteer dog walk - dog ownership can be very sociable.

Good luck, I know it occasionally can feel lonely, but there are many, many benefits to being single. Re-invent yourself as amazing and go for it!

Well done OP, you've taken a big step there, congratulations for getting rid of him. There's no place in your life for someone who makes you miserable. It is highly likely that your friends will be glad to see the back of him too.

Well done for drawing your line in the sand. 💐

Well done. I suggest you enjoy the peace and tranquillity of your own place and treat yourself to something nice. Are there any local societies to join as a way to meet new people? Also change to locks.

Change the locks that should say

It's only funny if everyone's laughing. Dump.