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Original poster

When husbands speak with contempt

59 replies

Marissa270 · 01/07/2026 09:28

Has anyone had their husbands say hurtful comments while their arguing or say things out of contempt? If so how to put a stop to it? My father didn’t agree with my marriage so he stopped talking to me once I got married. We were so close so that the thing that hurt me the most.

Whenever we argue my husband brings it up and sometimes even his family do. He will say well even your father doesn’t want to talk to you or even your father hates you. It’s been 13 years and it still kills me to hear as I would never abandon my children. I had a brief reconciliation with my father when me and my kids visited him for a holiday but after that he stopped talking to both me and my kids again saying he doesn’t want us in his lives (for no reason). My husband keeps bringing that up even though he knows how much it hurts as I’m his only daughter.

OP posts:
moderate · 02/07/2026 13:39

Marissa270 · 02/07/2026 09:39

I have a 13 year old and an 8 year old. I’ve been married 14 years now (I mistakenly wrote 13). My dad had cut off with me when I first married but always seen both children and been a very good grandad to them. He used to visit them when they were at my mum’s or invite them over to his house. We reconciled 3 years ago when he invited me and the kids to his holiday house where we stayed for 2 months. My youngest who was 5 at the time ended up breaking her arm and needing an operation and he abandoned us there (abroad) and stopped talking to us then as he said he was happy having a peaceful life. We were no bother to him and I spent the whole trip trying to be extra nice but I’m not sure why he felt that way.

Once my dad left my husband came over as my daughter had had an operation and needed ongoing treatment. He was furious with how my dad treated us so since then he always brings it up in arguments. My kids still send WhatsApp msgs to their grandad wishing him a happy birthday or telling them they love and miss him. He opens them but never responds. It’s heartbreaking especially for my youngest who was especially close to him

Show quote history

He was furious with how my dad treated us so since then he always brings it up in arguments.

But he brings it up against you, to hurt you, not to protect you from how your dad mistreated you.

Original poster
Marissa270 · 02/07/2026 15:04

moderate · 02/07/2026 13:39

He was furious with how my dad treated us so since then he always brings it up in arguments.

But he brings it up against you, to hurt you, not to protect you from how your dad mistreated you.

Show quote history

Yes exactly that’s what hurt so much. The one who should console me and support me is also attacking me so I literally can’t even rely on my own husband.

OP posts:
moderate · 02/07/2026 15:21

Marissa270 · 02/07/2026 15:04

Yes exactly that’s what hurt so much. The one who should console me and support me is also attacking me so I literally can’t even rely on my own husband.

Show quote history

So he wasn't furious about how your dad treated you. He was furious with you for no longer being in line to inherit.

Get rid of this man.

mathanxiety · 02/07/2026 15:54

Contempt is the killer of marriages.

You need to start figuring out a way to leave.

mathanxiety · 02/07/2026 15:57

Marissa270 · 02/07/2026 13:17

Yes thanks I told him I won’t accept to hear anything like that again and I’m seriously considering divorce at the moment

Show quote history

Do not give your disgusting husband any hint of what's in your mind. This is an angry and abusive man, and you would be putting you and your children in danger if you were to let him know what you are planning.

Be very careful.

Seaoftroubles · 02/07/2026 16:00

OP You would be better off having both of these men out of your life. You father may have seemed great once but in reality he probably enjoyed having you as his adoring daughter who saw him as her hero and he most likely manipulated you too.
He showed his true colours when he abandoned you after your daughter broke her arm on holiday at his home. He behaved appallingly there.
Your husband has let you down badly too and has repeatedly demonstrated this by his abusive and contemptuous comments about you, all designed to wound. He meant to hurt you and no amount of apogising afterwards can negate his cruel intent. Financially are you in a position to leave him? I would definitely be contacting a solicitor to get advice on where you stand financially.

Original poster
Marissa270 · 03/07/2026 09:45

Seaoftroubles · 02/07/2026 16:00

OP You would be better off having both of these men out of your life. You father may have seemed great once but in reality he probably enjoyed having you as his adoring daughter who saw him as her hero and he most likely manipulated you too.
He showed his true colours when he abandoned you after your daughter broke her arm on holiday at his home. He behaved appallingly there.
Your husband has let you down badly too and has repeatedly demonstrated this by his abusive and contemptuous comments about you, all designed to wound. He meant to hurt you and no amount of apogising afterwards can negate his cruel intent. Financially are you in a position to leave him? I would definitely be contacting a solicitor to get advice on where you stand financially.

Thanks yes I am in a position to leave him financially and have made an appointment with a solicitor for advice

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 03/07/2026 11:00

That's good to hear OP, wishing you all the best a please do update the thread.

Sara329 · 05/07/2026 10:01

Could he possibly have mental health issues as if his behaviour is new there could be something triggering it. If not it just sounds like emotional abuse

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