I just want opinions on this scenario. Obviously there's a lot more going on but I'm asking about this scenario in isolation because I wonder if maybe I am just selfish and expecting too much and can't trust my own perceptions anymore.
Been with partner 10 years, two children; one his and one mine.
Partner has an air con unit, when his brother died it was one thing he has from his house. For context, his brother had mental health issues and nobody bothered with him, despite me telling my partner on numerous occasions that he should visit him and check in on him.
Obviously the weather has been boiling and like many places we had 34°C weather, house was boiling (especially upstairs) and nobody really got sleep. DP sleeps downstairs in his "games" room, long story but he chooses to. He has the air con unit and has been sleeping downstairs with it on all night and sitting in the room all day with it on. I asked if we could take it to the childrens room to cool it before bed and he said "no, it's mine not yours. If you want air con you can busy it yourself with all your money...oh wait, you can't afford it". It just blows my mind because if I had air conditioning, I would go without it for the kids. I don't even expect him to care about me, but his own child? He would even go up to his room in the evening and say how hot it was. We would all be awake early having not slept due to be heat and he was having lie ins in his air conditioned room.
Several times I asked if he could please share it with the children and each time was told "no it's mine..it was my gift from my deceased brother. It's not yours". I said I don't expect him to care about me but what about the children, again he just said if I want one I can buy it. I eve asked if we could just roll it init the living room (where I was with my children) for a bit to cool the room down, again was told "no, it's heavy and you can't move it yourself and I'm not helping you, so if you want it you do it".
Then on Thursday I invited around a friend and her son to play with our son. 2 hours before she came, he puts the air con into the living room. He starts telling me proudly that he's out it in the living room. I just looked at him and said "why, I've been asking you for days to share it and you refused". So he said "well if you don't want it I'll take it back"...so we got a few hours of the air con when guest came over on the last day of the heat wave.
Be honest, was I being selfish in expecting him to share it with the children? I just looked at 2 of my friends, both who have husbands who went out and bought and air con unit and set it up for the family.