I’ve left (temporarily) where am I to go?

[McDpark]

Currently sat in McDonald’s car park feeling very sick after walking out of my home. Travel inn nearby, I’m considering staying there for the night. Money is tight. I’ve got not family or friends to turn to. What do people do in this situation. I had to leave it’s no good for my mental health.

He’s never going to give me money to live somewhere else. Cheapest I can find is £800 pcm not including bills, that’s a 20 min drive to work, I can’t run a car on my own. I sound pathetic.

I hope you managed to get at least a couple of hours sleep.

He’s never going to give me money to live somewhere else. Cheapest I can find is £800 pcm not including bills, that’s a 20 min drive to work, I can’t run a car on my own You’re married and you have a minor child together; what he does or doesn’t give you isn’t his choice, it’s down to a Judge. You have a stake in that family house you know. He’s only got his salary because you’ve put your career on a back burner. And yes, you might have to cut your cloth for a while, and maybe apply for benefits to help you pay your rent until you find something full time and a financial settlement is reached, but don’t believe that you have nothing and you can’t afford anything, because that’s not the case. Go to the council this morning, just so you have emergency accommodation for tonight and you don’t end up sleeping in your car. It probably won’t be what you’re used to, but this is only temporary. It’s just until you start finding your own way. Eventually you will be free. Free of him and free of the belief that you aren’t a person with her own feelings and wants and needs. You absolutely can do this. If you can stay married to him for decades, you can cope with anything.

I sound pathetic You don’t sound pathetic at all. You sound like you’ve spent years being ground down until you think you can’t fight against him because he holds all the power. All he holds is a larger salary. That’s it. You might have started to believe his opinion of you, but it is just an opinion, it isn’t fact.

I hope you managed to sleep.

See a solicitor asap. That'll help you plan. You need to start living not just existing.

Good luck, whatever you decide do what is best for you. If the 16 year old is still in school claim UC and say you are estranged from you husband. You would be entitled to help with rent etc, divorce him get your share of the house etc. Move to a cheaper area if you live in an expensive area, try to get back to full-time. Lots of sorting out but your freedom is the light at the end of the tunnel. 💕

Not sure why you only work pt if your youngest is 16

going ft should be a priority

start divorce . The house, pension, savings are all joint. You’re entitled to a fair share of all of it. Seek ft employment. Look
at what, if any, benefits you’d be entitled to short term as a separated person,

You’ve taken a huge step towards sorting out the issues.
You may have to temporarily go back but start making plans for your future.
Play yr cards close to yr chest & seek legal & other advice to help you through what comes next. Don’t tell him your plans. Just quietly beaver away.

IF you go back to him in any other way apart from resolve to permanently leave, his behavior will only get worse.
Stick to your resolve. Make a plan.

Rome wasn’t built in a day & maybe with a bit of determination, the next ten years, let alone 30, will be better for you. Go for it!

Those saying go back and save for 10+ years have obviously never been in an abusive relationship. Obviously if you feel you can manage that long and have a longer term plan then go for it. ❤️ if not, call women’s aid for a refuge space. Good luck