No one sits around on their bum while the other does everything and if you see a job that needs doing, you do it.
There is no conscious split of duties. Just neither of us is lazy. We just fell into the jobs we’re best at that need doing at the time when we’re home and available.
I care about food (dh doesn’t, would eat frozen pizza every day). So I do the meal planning, shopping and cooking. I am also more likely to be home at the time those need doing. He does all the evening tidying of the kitchen and loading the dishwasher, putting it on, because I’m more likely to be heading to bed then.
He does all the lawn mowing, dealing with hedges, digging a hole when the water pipe bursts, strimming, moving gravel around on the drive, I don’t do anything outside involving any sort of tools or machinery. I also don’t do anything outside involving DIY. Dh does 90% with the dog because he wanted her more than me. I do the fun bits only, he does the feeding, walking, vet visits. I do medical and dental care for dc because I’m better at that.
We both clean and tidy inside basically when it’s dirty whoever happens to be standing there tidies it up. We both do the school runs. We both look after the kids, drive them around to activities, take them to friends houses.
Basically, we each have our strengths and we use them. Dh less good at catering for a BBQ or dealing with a child with a broken arm, but he’s really good if a pipe breaks. And no one sits around watching the other do everything because we aren’t lazy and we care about each other. If you’re both decent people, you’ll both want to have each other’s back and work as a team. No one should have to be pulled along kicking and screaming.