Do I tell her she cheated?

[Yogi1993]

So I had an affair with a woman in Oct-March this year. She said she was in a hostile and unloving relationship and that there were only living together for the sake of the kids. She told me she would leave her but needed to find the right time to do it. We had a full blown affair and her partner questioned it a few times but she told her nothing was going on. Fast forward to Boxing Day and her partner kicked her out. She ended up living with her mum for a few months and messaged her a whirlwind of abuse about everything. She still to this date doesn’t know about the affair. She told me she loved me and needed to leave her so we could start a relationship and build a life together - or so I thought. In January they both decided to meet up and agreed to start taking things slow again and I was so heartbroken I stupidly od’d. she then told me that she was only getting back with her for the sake of the kids. She then gave the impression that she’d cut ties with her but remained friends for the sake of the kids but paranoia got the best of me and I thought something was going on with them two which she kept trying to deny. Fast forward to now and I had a chat with her and said I can’t remain friends with her and watch her play happy families from the sidelines after everything that happened but she couldn’t understand the issue of remaining friends but it just hurts too much. I wasn’t sleeping at all and everytime we hung out I’m left with a night of grief of it never going anywhere. After our chat she said she only ever wanted her partner back and it’s destroyed me! They’ve had a family holiday booked for the last year that they’re going on in August and part of me wants to message her partner once they land and tell all. Do I do it or let karma do its thing?

I (M) was in a similar predicament with a colleague (F).She did not know what she wanted. She had a boyfriend whom she then got engaged to. Even so she was flirting in effect whenever she saw me at work and a number of colleagues had picked up on this. Her fliting skills were phenomenal. At the end of my contract she blanked me on the last day and I did not say anything. I just walked away. One of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. So don't message, just walk away. It will be tough, for your own sanity try and move on. The only way to get peace and closure

You need to cut her and this whole situation out of your life and focus on sorting yourself out.

@Yogi1993 to be honest it looks like her cards are already marked, her partner clearly knows what she is, plus i'm not being funny but from the picture you painted she sounds like a horrible little twt, i'd just sit back and watch the show as it will blow up at some point. Would you really want to be with someone like that? If someone is prepared to cheat on their partner with you then i'm sorry to say it, but, they would most likely be happy cheating on you with someone else as well. F*k the players/cheaters, leave them to spread their diseases elsewhere ;-) Go find yourself a keeper!

I doubt very much her partner doesn’t know, keep out of it.

Look you had an affair with someone who’s committed elsewhere. Unless you’ve been living under a rock you know that people in that situation make all sorts of claims about leaving which very often does not come to fruition. She was separated from her for several months and had still not taken the opportunity to be with you. Wake up. You’re being incredibly naive here. This person is not worth your time and you cannot be friends. You need to cut all ties and sort your head out. Moving forward concentrate on finding single people because this one is not going anywhere

You’re not stable enough for a relationship Or friendship with an ex if you purposefully OD’d. Stay out of all of it, stay away from them, take care of yourself and try to feel better.