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Relationships

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How can l say no to friends without harming the friendship?

54 replies

WildJoker · 10/06/2026 21:17

I have a couple of good friends who l see about once a week, we’ve known each other for many years, had families, all of which are now grown up with their own families. The three of us are now retired.
A several months ago they both asked me to do a favour for each of them, which l agreed to and they both gave me flowers as a thank you.
Since then, every couple of weeks one or the other asks me to do a similar favour - including for one or two of their relatives. Although they say there is no hurry etc. l feel the pressure to get the job done for them - l now feel taken for granted and pressured, even if they say take my time - problem is how do l tell them no l do want to do this anymore, without losing their friendships.

OP posts:
amylou8 · 11/06/2026 18:37

Develop a sore wrist that's made much worse by sewing, so you're going to have to stop for awhile/forever.

Favouritefruits · 11/06/2026 19:11

I’d say you’re finding it hard with your eyes so can’t do anymore till you’ve got your glasses sorted. Then when they ask say you’ve not had your glasses sorted yet. Yes it’s the cowards way out but sometimes it’s just easier that way!

DoesthislookgoodOnMe · 12/06/2026 18:12

They should really offer to pay you then if they are using you as a tailor. It’s really cheeky of them. Shortening a pair of trousers costs £15 a pair.

Pearlstillsinging · 12/06/2026 18:18

WildJoker · 11/06/2026 09:53

This is exactly what’s happened to me - l sew and just do this for myself - now l seem to have got myself ‘customers’ - l altered some clothes for them as a favour and now they seem to expect this of me - to the extent they are buying clothes that need altering, ie. hems etc - on a regular basis. I feel obliged to get these jobs done in a timely manner as they want to wear them. Ugh… it’s a delicate situation as l don’t want to walk away from the friendships as l value them but it’s really pushing my buttons as l feel they are taking the piss.
You’ve all given some good advice and there are some really good suggestions which l will take on board going forward.

Just point them in the direction of Wundaweb and let them shorten their own clothes.
Or start asking for a (large) donation to charity. That should put a stop to the frequent requests.

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