Let's have a competition. Who married the biggest red flag ?

[GreenOpalFruits]

I'll go first

1. Lied about how he and his ex wife split
2. Used to turn up places i was when I tagged myself on Facebook practically stalked me until I'd go out with him

   3.was never allowed to see bank.    accounts and all money was separate. Found out after we split he took a 30 grand loan out 

1. Moved into my house and acted like he owned the place without paying for most things
2. Annoying clingy boring family who wouldn't leave me alone
3. Constant moaning about work
4. Love bombing then cruelty
5. Low contact with DC for 3 years until her got a partner to do mummy duties

9 gave me 700 pounds for my maternity leave. I was off a year
10. When on maternity leave he refused to pay for a cracked gutter when water was pouring into DCs room so I had to find 300 quid.

I could go on....

No idea how I put that other post on mine, sorry!

Did you put a ``` in your post?

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I didn’t like him very much but felt sorry for him.

Not me, but SIL.

• "Crazy" ex who cheated on him, and was the reason he was bankrupt. Also the reason he was so insecure and needed constant reassurance
• Minor disagreements would see him disappearing for up to a week, right from the very start of the relationship. Returned with lots of sob stories about how he liked her so much adn was terrified that she woudln't want to be with him.
• most minor disagreements were because she would say somethign like, "I'm goign to the gym so I can meet you for dinner at 8" or "I can't see you Friday because I'm going out with my girlfriends" (bearing in mind, this is in frist few weeks of dating, not moths in) and he'd he upset she wasn't prioritising him
• Moved in super quick because he had no money (see crazy ex above)
• Moved in and promptly cut his hours at work

My husband:

Gave me a key to his house on our first date

Was 12 years older than me (we met when I was 19, got together when I was 21)

His ex who I knew at work tried to warn me he wasn’t as he appeared (oh how I wish I’d listened)

Referred to me as his partner from the moment we started dating

His female next door neighbour had a key to his and used to let herself in to borrow videos and would do his washing up when it got stacked so high she couldn’t bare to see it.

Bragged about his neighbour doing the washing up

His girlfriend between his proper ex and me was a girl from in the pub that he claimed was 18. She was in fact 17 and he knew this. At a recent party he bragged about taking her virginity. He was 33 when she was 17. It made me feel sick.

He didn’t get the key back off the 17 year old until she had finished her college course. But told me he had. Continued to message her for first two years of our relationship but lied about it.

Drove extremely aggressively (still does)

After getting married and having our first child, he started to show his true colours - emotionally abusive, lazy, deliberately drove in a way that would scare me, screamed and shouted at me, cut me off if he didn’t like what I was saying, etc.

Has thrown things at me on a couple of occasions.

I like to think that if I wasn’t still recovering from a trauma, I wouldn’t have put up with any of his shit.

I think I might have. Hopefully there isn’t two 😬

Used to get his Mum to trim his toenails while he watched TV with his feet on her lap. No shame from either of them.

Lied about his son from a previous marriage who was diagnosed with autism - I found this out via his own mother whilst pregnant with my second baby, my first son who was 3 yrs old by this time and recently diagnosed. He said it wasn’t relevant..

said his previous marriage ended because his wife at the time was used to the high life and when his business started failing she got shot of him to avoid becoming bankrupt. Turned out he cheated on her two..

went to work overseas whilst I raised the two children (both diagnosed with autism by then).. a knock on the door from two government investigators looking for him for owing over £200k in VAT painted a different picture for his sudden move overseas - apparently to make more money to support the family.

lived a double life whilst living overseas which only unfolded when he had to return during Covid.. by this time I was done but needed a plan to get shot of him!

there’s so many more lies entangled.. he’s now my ex husband and still trying to control us - but I’m much wiser now.

Had been to prison for a violent crime
Was 12 years older than me (19/32)
His housemates hated him and wanted him to move out

Obviously I married him.

In my defense, he had a car and he was good looking

Had been on an anger management programme after being arrested for a fight with his ex gf. I still had children together. Needless to say we split soon after.

Sorry but this made me laugh 😆

I can laugh now. Don’t worry. Just hope my tales can make others notice similar. Because he was also very good looking, ‘fit’, ‘good with the family’ ’lovely to kids’ 🙄and we actually had a good laugh and good times when he wasn’t being an absolute nut job. Abusive relationships are horrendously complex.

Oh - more come backs to me now. Went on his stag in Blackpool. I literally was ‘cool wife’ in those days. Late 20s…just excited about wedding. Didn’t give a thought about what he might get up to. My casual lack
of interest clearly triggered him enough to show me the picture he’d been bought of him surrounded by six women in thongs with their boobs out after his personal dance. He then got the reaction he wanted. As I broke down in tears soon as I saw it. Which he enjoyed immensely. What a fkn arsehole.