Partner seeing escorts

[Greenlemon26]

I can’t believe I’m writing this but I’m wondering what would everybody else do in my place?
I found evidence in my partner’s phone that he has been seeing escorts for the last month or so but something tells me
it’s been longer than that, I feel angry but I don’t know what to do next, we have 4 wonderful children together, I’m heartbroken and not sure if I can ever trust him again.
If I had never checked his phone I would have never found out because even after I confronted him without letting him know I had the evidence he denied the whole thing and told me to stop being so paranoid as he would never do anything like that….

Thank you all for all the responses really appreciated!

I got tested, waiting for results, he now denies he paid for actual sex but says it was actually massages and oral but still can’t believe anything that comes out of him and still gross if so.

We are not married and don’t own property together.

Sorry op. First he will deny, second minimise. He will never admit everything, just the bare minimum he hopes to get away with. And it's still paying for sex. It's horrible.
I would be starting to plan the rest of my life without him. Look into any benefit entitlement etc. Good luck.

Do you even need to ask the question? You obviously need to kick the prick out and get an STI test as soon as possible. I’m sorry you are going through this.

It's all very well telling OP to leave and be happy, but happy doesn't pay the bills.

She's not married, and we don't know the housing situation and what she might be entitled to if she leaves.

She has 4 children, her first priority is to make sure they're supported.

Kick him to the kerb and get yourself checked for STI’s.

Leave and go where? With four kids. Its not as simple as that.

Glad your not married and don t jointly own a home together.
Is the tenancy in joint names??
Ask him to leave and if he won t shame him.
You need the house for the children.
There is no going back from this.
Don t allow him to talk you round .

What would I do....as a starting point, end the relationship and get an STD check.
With kids together, it's going to take a while to work out the actual logistics of separating but you can start with living separate lives. You can't necessarily kick him out, despite what posters say. Be careful, not being married can leave you in a very vulnerable place. Good luck x

Obviously people don't mean walk straight out the door today. They don't own property together, OP could own her own house, we don't know.

He's probably minimising but it doesn't matter about the details because you've been betrayed

Don't have sex with him again, even if you haven't 'left' him or broken it off yet. It's good you've been tested, and if I was in this situation I'd be angrier than if it was a full blown affair.
The risk to your sexual health and the derogatory situation women put themselves in for men like him. Affairs can in some cases be forgivable but this is a different kettle of fish.

You don't have to do anything immediately OP you need time to figure things out, and splitting might not be a quick process but he clearly will put your health at risk so any sexual acts could put you at further risk.

The only thing to do is to leave this disgusting man who is cheating on you, paying for sex and putting you at risk of STIs.

I found out via a text message he meant to send to a sec worker asking about what services she provided. He initially told me that it was the first time and he didn't think he would have gone through with it. It turned out to be lies - he admitted the next day he'd been having sex with them for three years

@OriginalSkang
oh woow I’m so sorry this also happened to you ah man, was this a while ago or recent? how are you coping now? Are you rebuilding?

If it were me he'd find himself being escorted straight out of the door - with my boot up his arse.

It was probably seven years ago now. Everything is settled. I'm lucky he is a good dad and didn't want to disrupt anything for DD