Partner seeing escorts

Greenlemon26 · 2026-05-28T22:46:38+00:00

I can’t believe I’m writing this but I’m wondering what would everybody else do in my place? I found evidence in my partner’s phone that he has been seeing escorts for the last month or so but something tells me it’s been longer than that, I feel angry but I don’t know what to do next, we have 4 wonderful children together, I’m heartbroken and not sure if I can ever trust him again. If I had never checked his phone I would have never found out because even after I confronted him without letting him know I had the evidence he denied the whole thing and told me to stop being so paranoid as he would never do anything like that….

Twinkletoesandspaghettios · 28/05/2026 23:56

Leave. Now

MrsMoastyToasty · 28/05/2026 23:58

Get angry. Very angry.
Get tested for STIs.
Get a solicitor if you own property.

Ilovecheeseyah · 28/05/2026 23:58

Take advice from a lawyer tomorrow and assess your options.
good luck this is truly awful, I do feel for you and am sure it is more common that we like to think. Let us know how you go x

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 29/05/2026 00:01

Hi @Greenlemon26

What made you check your DP's phone? Have you been having problems?

What is your gut reaction - do you want to leave him?
If so, do you have all the financial info you need?
And how old are your children?
Time to get those 🦆🦆🦆in a row just in case.

What would I do?
I could not stay with a man who paid to use sex workers. I think prostitutes are exploited at best, trafficked at worst, and I would lose all respect for my partner, and all trust.
But I haven't got 4 children to bring up...

OriginalSkang · 29/05/2026 00:03

When this happened to me, I asked him to move out and got an STD test

I'm sorry :(

CamillaMcCauley · 29/05/2026 00:08

Yeah, no coming back from this, I’m afraid. Your relationship is over so I’d withdraw all “relationship services” (eg cooking for him, doing his laundry, listening to his work stories, sex) immediately and focus on using your energy to figure out how to separate.

Original poster

Greenlemon26 · 29/05/2026 00:41

i Checked his phone because the night prior I had fallen asleep on the couch and heard him creep out I called him he said he was going to the corner shop to get a drink I believed that and went back to sleep but he’s been doing that for a minute I had a gut feeling my stomach would hurt every time but I kept ignoring it never doing that again… we have a 13, 12, 10 and 3 year old,
Im so cooked 😭😭😭😭 I’m so scared and lost and sad and everything in between. I have been with him since 17 this is such a mess…

OP posts:

Wynter25 · 29/05/2026 00:42

Leave

TheSlantedOwl · 29/05/2026 00:47

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

See it like this perhaps OP: he isn’t seeing escorts, he’s using prostituted women - he doesn’t care about consent. They don’t want him to fuck them, they need the money. Some may even have been trafficked. He’s using other people in the basest way.

He has betrayed you and abused other women in this way. You do need to leave. Start making plans. You can do it.

Sensiblesal · 29/05/2026 01:21

You are going to get the anti men brigade telling you to leave, to stop acting like a wife in retaliation. To do a lot of mean & spiteful things that may well hurt your husband but will also hurt you and the children.

it’s not so simple as just leaving when you have a life together, kids, financial entanglements. You can’t kick him out or change the locks as some will suggest.

what you need is some self care, have you got a trusted friend or family member you can confide in?

if you don’t think you can forgive him/trust him again then thats the end of the relationship. You will need to work this out, how that looks etc.
The main things are keeping an even keel so the children aren’t affected.

some time away from him with/without the kids will give you space to think. Most importantly you have to take care of yourself whilst you work out next steps.

being vengeful & petty is never a solution

DalmationalAnthem · 29/05/2026 01:30

Sensiblesal · 29/05/2026 01:21

You are going to get the anti men brigade telling you to leave, to stop acting like a wife in retaliation. To do a lot of mean & spiteful things that may well hurt your husband but will also hurt you and the children.

it’s not so simple as just leaving when you have a life together, kids, financial entanglements. You can’t kick him out or change the locks as some will suggest.

what you need is some self care, have you got a trusted friend or family member you can confide in?

if you don’t think you can forgive him/trust him again then thats the end of the relationship. You will need to work this out, how that looks etc.
The main things are keeping an even keel so the children aren’t affected.

some time away from him with/without the kids will give you space to think. Most importantly you have to take care of yourself whilst you work out next steps.

being vengeful & petty is never a solution

Edited

He's a boyfriend not a husband, and consent cannot ever be purchased.
OPs priorities are herself, her kids, her financial independence and STD testing.

Dartmoorcheffy · 29/05/2026 01:56

Why are people suggesting she leave. Kick the arsehole out.

CamillaMcCauley · 29/05/2026 02:01

Sensiblesal · 29/05/2026 01:21

You are going to get the anti men brigade telling you to leave, to stop acting like a wife in retaliation. To do a lot of mean & spiteful things that may well hurt your husband but will also hurt you and the children.

it’s not so simple as just leaving when you have a life together, kids, financial entanglements. You can’t kick him out or change the locks as some will suggest.

what you need is some self care, have you got a trusted friend or family member you can confide in?

if you don’t think you can forgive him/trust him again then thats the end of the relationship. You will need to work this out, how that looks etc.
The main things are keeping an even keel so the children aren’t affected.

some time away from him with/without the kids will give you space to think. Most importantly you have to take care of yourself whilst you work out next steps.

being vengeful & petty is never a solution

Edited

Idk what kinda family setup you have but withdrawing sex, cooking and laundry services from a man who’s fucking prostitutes wouldn’t hurt the kids in my household.

Lurkingandlearning · 29/05/2026 05:22

I’m sorry this has happened to you. I’ve read many threads started by women who have discovered their partner has been using sex workers, but yours nipping out for a fuck while you are asleep on the sofa is a new low.

However men go about doing this, they illustrate the complete lack of respect and contempt for their partner. I know that must hurt. There are so many parts to this kind of betrayal that hurt to the point of being emotionally paralysing. Give yourself a little time to let it sink in and then find your anger. That calm, steely anger that gets things done. Then do what you need to do to get him out of your home.

HoppingPavlova · 29/05/2026 06:13

You are going to get the anti men brigade telling you to leave

As opposed to a bunch of cheerleaders celebrating the man for using sex workers (who are rarely even in a position to provide true consent), and telling the OP it’s nothing and not to worry about it. Calling it out for what it is and telling someone to get STI tested and see a solicitor to see where she stands is ‘anti men brigade’! Fuck me, that’s grim.

HoppingPavlova · 29/05/2026 06:15

CamillaMcCauley · 29/05/2026 02:01

Idk what kinda family setup you have but withdrawing sex, cooking and laundry services from a man who’s fucking prostitutes wouldn’t hurt the kids in my household.

Show quote history

Yeah, but it would be vengeful and petty, and not what ‘good’ women do to men, no matter what repulsive antics they get up to. Did you not get that memo🤣.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 29/05/2026 06:27

Trusted family members would also be advising you to plan your exit with due care from this relationship. It’s over anyway due to his cheating behaviour which is also putting you at risk of stds. If there is no trust there is no relationship.

What is the situation re the finances and property?. Is it for instance a joint mortgage or is there a joint tenancy agreement?. I sincerely hope the property is not in his sole name.

CamillaMcCauley · 29/05/2026 07:26

HoppingPavlova · 29/05/2026 06:15

Yeah, but it would be vengeful and petty, and not what ‘good’ women do to men, no matter what repulsive antics they get up to. Did you not get that memo🤣.

Show quote history

Apparently not! Hard to fathom how women who advocate leaving a faithless husband are “anti-men” yet married men who fuck prostitutes on the side are seemingly not “anti-women”.

PeppyRosePoster · 29/05/2026 07:49

I would get a full STI test and get legal advice on what my financial position would be like if I left. I would stop having sex with him and if I ever fancy it with him I would insist on condoms citing problems with my usual contraceptives. I would not confront about his cheating. If it will benefit me to retain evidence of his cheating like in some countries it does, then I would save the evidence somewhere secure. It boils down to whether it's financially worth staying or not. He doesn't have to have access to my body or emotions but I wouldn't make myself and children suffer financially as well on top of all this shit. If I won't be financially worse off I'd leave him of course.

PeppyRosePoster · 29/05/2026 07:51

I wouldn't bother telling anyone IRL, it will feel good to vent but that friend will judge you if you decide to stay and will impact your friendship they may also gossip. Just write in a diary or come here.

ToYouFromMe · 29/05/2026 07:55

Sensiblesal · 29/05/2026 01:21

You are going to get the anti men brigade telling you to leave, to stop acting like a wife in retaliation. To do a lot of mean & spiteful things that may well hurt your husband but will also hurt you and the children.

it’s not so simple as just leaving when you have a life together, kids, financial entanglements. You can’t kick him out or change the locks as some will suggest.

what you need is some self care, have you got a trusted friend or family member you can confide in?

if you don’t think you can forgive him/trust him again then thats the end of the relationship. You will need to work this out, how that looks etc.
The main things are keeping an even keel so the children aren’t affected.

some time away from him with/without the kids will give you space to think. Most importantly you have to take care of yourself whilst you work out next steps.

being vengeful & petty is never a solution

Edited

@Sensiblesal No one is asking op to be vengeful and petty.
Peeps are informing her what they would do in her circumstances and offering support and practical advice.
If her partner and father of her 4 kids has behaved in this way, he s a worm and deserves all that's coming to him.
My tuppensworth says shame him; see a lawyer and make sure he pays for his kids.
I know it will be tough on you Op, however there is no going back from this.
Dig deep, get angrey , chuck him out .

Sensiblesal · 29/05/2026 09:19

PeppyRosePoster · 29/05/2026 07:49

I would get a full STI test and get legal advice on what my financial position would be like if I left. I would stop having sex with him and if I ever fancy it with him I would insist on condoms citing problems with my usual contraceptives. I would not confront about his cheating. If it will benefit me to retain evidence of his cheating like in some countries it does, then I would save the evidence somewhere secure. It boils down to whether it's financially worth staying or not. He doesn't have to have access to my body or emotions but I wouldn't make myself and children suffer financially as well on top of all this shit. If I won't be financially worse off I'd leave him of course.

Oh gosh this is everything wrong with the world. Staying for money

being loved & happy both you & your children makes you richer than money ever could

OriginalSkang · 29/05/2026 10:09

Sensiblesal · 29/05/2026 01:21

You are going to get the anti men brigade telling you to leave, to stop acting like a wife in retaliation. To do a lot of mean & spiteful things that may well hurt your husband but will also hurt you and the children.

it’s not so simple as just leaving when you have a life together, kids, financial entanglements. You can’t kick him out or change the locks as some will suggest.

what you need is some self care, have you got a trusted friend or family member you can confide in?

if you don’t think you can forgive him/trust him again then thats the end of the relationship. You will need to work this out, how that looks etc.
The main things are keeping an even keel so the children aren’t affected.

some time away from him with/without the kids will give you space to think. Most importantly you have to take care of yourself whilst you work out next steps.

being vengeful & petty is never a solution

Edited

Jesus christ, what a disgusting post!

1980isitjustme · 29/05/2026 11:01

You are worth so much more OP. Be strong and remember that everything works out for the best in the end. Please don’t waste anymore precious time on this man who has so little respect for you 💐

Steavehargen · 29/05/2026 11:52

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