Feeling very ashamed of my drunken behaviour

[Mumoftwo654]

So, I have had a night out recently where I was totally blazing. A ladies event with 12 hours of drinking! I was dancing on the dance floor with lots of girlfriends and at one point an 80ish year old man. When extremely drunk I twirl my friends around, lift them up etc a lot. I also spent about 6 hours I’d say dancing! I dance a lot when drunk!!! At one point I attempted to get my dentist on the dance floor. He was standing at the side with his girlfriend. I don’t know him well other than that he is my dentist. He didn’t dance.

I am 41 and married with two kids. I am riddled with guilt that I did this. I am coming to the conclusion that I may have a problem with anxiety, definitely have a problem with alcohol, but I am also extremely ashamed and embarrassed that I tried to get him to dance. I seem to be doing really stupid things on the last couple of nights out. I am currently trying to quit drinking altogether and I rarely ever have nights out anyway so they should be easy to stop.

I suppose I am just intrigued as to how ashamed I should really feel about this and how much I am catastrophising. I really do feel terrible. Losing sleep over it. Also, I have not told my hubby that I tried to get the dentist up to dance! Should I?

Any views would be grately appreciated.

Also, what the hell do I say to the dentist next time I have an appointment?

😩😳🙈

😂 you're fine girl
Enjoy your drinks and dancing

Why was your dentist there? Do you know him? I’d just change dentists honestly Id be more bothered if it was someone I had to see daily like someone from my kids school or something.

You say nothing about it at your next appointment, you are catastrophising far too much over what sounds like pretty much a non event. I wouldn't give it any more thought.

Just change your dentist, problem solved :)

I mean, I’d hate someone trying to twirl me around or pick me up (“Get OFF me!”) but I’d think trying to get your dentist to dance was funny.

That said, I would definitely be changing my dentist if it were me!

Honestly I wouldn’t worry, dancing and trying to get someone else to dance is pretty normal drunken behaviour. If you want to steps to reduce your alcohol intake then do but don’t be ashamed about your behaviour.

You say ‘when I am extremely drunk’…… How often does that happen? I rarely get extremely drunk now as I can’t bear the hangxiety afterwards, it just isn’t worth it.

You’re worrying too much. Change your dentist if you’re that worried but most people will have had an occasional night like this. In the future you’ll laugh about it.

My dentist is a bit of a wild one and I would fully expect him to join me on the dancefloor if I were to do this. Luckily I don’t go to pubs or clubs and don’t drink so won’t find myself in this situation.

OP, guilt is a strange reaction. You’ve nothing to feel guilty for because you haven’t done anything wrong. Getting very drunk, losing inhibitions and trying to get people to dance doesn’t make you a bad person. I do see why you’re embarrassed though. I have a great deal of experience of this kind of thing in my youth (which is one of the major reasons I no longer drink).

Boozing is fun at the time but many of us find (especially as we get older) that we can’t cope with the hangovers any more. I definitely don’t miss that next day moment of ‘Oh God, what did I do/say last night?’ The great thing is that it’s easy to avoid those moments- just stop getting hammered.

I'm sure your dentist and the pub or celebration room and most guests have seen or done worse so let's not catastrophise and don't take yourself seriously, you were a bit silly but it's not like you've gone and stabbed people.
This can be the last time you feel this way this can be the last time you put yourself in this position if you commit to being sober and seriously put all your energy and everything you got as a priority above everything to stay sober sobriety must be even above your children in importance. People aren't thinking of you as much as you're thinking of yourself and people who know you well and like you will see your change and be glad for it. It doesn't have to define you.

Something similar happened to you at Christmas? Booze does that.

Thanks everyone!! I‘ts one group of friends that these nights happen with. Actually usually only once or twice a year.. but there’s been two this year already! I’m not going on any more!!!

The dentist was there because the ladies day was in one room of a pub and then we moved into the actual pub after it finished.. where the dentist was! I can’t even remotely rationalise it to myself. Anyway… I’ll just try to tell myself I’m catastrophising and try to calm down about it.
Thanks so much for taking the time though! I really needed some opinions. Thank you ❤️

You have hang-xiety
You didnt get violent you werent obscene
You were having a good time!!

I think you need to came down a little.

You got drunk, danced a lot and very annoying.

There was no cheating, abuse, voilence, danger, soiling or vomiting - just to put it in perspective.

I wouldn't worry about your dentist - let's be honest he just want to get you treated and get paid and you probably see him no more than twice a year.

All that said, you should curb the drinking to reduce your anxiety. No idea if you've a drink problem or this is a one off but there's no downside to drinking less either way.

Was everyone else drunk and dancing? I don’t think your behaviour sounds terrible, just normal high spirits, having a good time. Why would you tell your husband about the dentist? Unless you shagged him, it’s a non event.

You kept all your clothes on and didn't throw up or pee anywhere you shouldn't?
Didn't shag anyone you regret?
It doesn't sound like you need to feel ashamed or guilty.
You got drunk and were silly and at worst annoying.

12 hours of drinking obviously isn't good for anyone so definitely do cut down, but I think you can calm down!

thanks again, guys ❤️ I do drink outside of these nights out.. not a huge amount but i am becoming sick of that too. I have drunk quite steadily since beng a teen. I think enough is enough and my biggest worry going forward is the lack of control on these nights. I don’t think trying to get the dentist to dance was a sensible thing to do. I would never have done it sober. I am worried that next time it’ll be worse and that if I can’t stop myself doing that mortifying thing then what the hell else will I do going forward. I’m really going to try to stop altogether. I hate feeling embarrassed/ashamed of myself and I think I need to focus on doing things that make me proud of myself.
I’ll just have to endure the embarrassment of seeing the dentist again. I hope I don’t go beetroot in the chair 😳
i wish you all a healthy, happy life! ❤️

I think you sound like a lot of fun! I used to drink a lot and behave a bit like this, and to be honest probably still would, only it makes me so unbelievably unwell every time these days (literally 2 day hangover from hell if I have more than about 3 drinks) that I have had to rein it in. I do miss it sometimes, I like alcohol, but it really isn't worth the hangovers!

I get really bad hangxiety after a night out, it’s like a feeling of dread and wtf did I do that for.

I used to think everyone got it and then my friend had no idea what I was talking about so apparently it’s not everyone😅

Keep having nights out and enjoying yourself… maybe try to pace yourself a little next time!

I wish dancing too much was the stupidest thing I'd ever done while drunk 😂You've got the scaries which is caused by your cortisol levels rising back to normal. You'll be ok. So will your dentist.

Sounds like you had a good night. Dont over think it. Most people wont remember or won't care.

Your dentist isn't a sheltered little lamb than never bad any awkward or drunk history it will be funny in a few months.

I’m guessing that the comments would be very different and the op was a man and spent the night twirling and lifting women up ‘a lot’, and tried to get his clearly unwilling female dentist up on the dance floor while she was out for the evening with her husband

It's the psychological hangover making you feel guilty. I get like that now and have done since I entered my 40s, I hardly drink now because of it. A few years ago I got extremely drunk on a work night out and fell out of a train in front of them all, I just had to deal with the piss taking from them for a few days and then all was forgotten, I just laughed it off in the meantime.
You won't feel so bad about it in a few days.
Ps. Sorry but I had to laugh about the dentist!!!

One phrase does stand out, “trying to quit drinking”. If you don’t have a problem with alcohol, you don’t really need to try, you just don’t drink. Maybe you occasionally get a twinge of such and such would taste good, but then you choose something else.

I’m addicted to coffee. I would have to try to give it up.