My husband arranged for a drink with his brother on his way home from work. He didn't mention it to me. When he came home, he still didn't mention it. He just said traffic was bad.Then I was told about it by a mutual friend who'd also been in the pub. It is a local pub, we go to a lot, so it was likely to come out. I then discovered my husband had asked them not to tell me as I'd be upset that he'd gone out without me.
The trouble is, that is what upset me. The deliberate lies and asking our friends to lie too.
I feel humiliated and let down. I feel he's trying to paint me as a bad person. I don't know why, but I no longer feel I can trust him.
When I told him this, he said I was lucky that's all he did and is otherwise a good husband.
This isn't the first time he's lied. He constantly lies that he doesn't smoke, when I know he does and he tries to get other people to also cover for him.
My question is, am I being unreasonable by being upset by this behaviour?
He says i'm overreacting. I feel very hurt and let down.
Our relationship is mostly good, but this sort of thing makes me distrust him.
Has anyone else had this sort of thing? Any advice on how to deal with it? Why does he feel the need for secrets? Even trivial ones like this.