How to stop my separated husband treating the house as home

[Dizzyfloss]

Hi! My husband of 10 years moved out 10 days ago. It was relatively quick, I suggested separation, thinking he'd be blindsided.... but he just said "OK", found a flat, and left.

He continues to come to do a handful of school runs and take the kids to 1 evening club.

The thing that's really bugging me is when he comes in to get the kids ready to go to school/the club, he helps himself to toast/drinks/food. He sits down on the sofa, eating food, making himself at home, leaves dirty plate and cup on sofa.

For context he now lives about 2 miles away but refuses to tell me the exact address. Refused to let his kids see it either. He says "not enough time" to eat at home before picking up kids.

When he took my son out recently, bought himself a beer but refused to buy him a drink - son went went thirsty!

I really want to discourage him coming in the house at all, but eager not to have kids see awkwardness. How can I ideally non-verbally give a signal that he needs to stop helping himself to my food and still treating it as home, since HE was the one who left us and he now has a new home?

I don't think non-verbal clues are what's needed, OP. You need to use actual words. Where are you when he's going about fixing and eating his breakfast?

It's obvious the communication in the relationship was already poor, as you pulled the trigger on the relationship instead of opening up a discussion around fixing it. He then bolted asap - again, no words.

You won't successfully co-parent with thos communication style, so you need to start talking, and saying what you actually mean.

I know…I find this leap without evidence quite ridiculous.

does he not have any mates or colleagues with a spare room???