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Original poster

Partner is so judgemental about my alcohol.

1 reply

KhakiOrca · 10/05/2026 21:10

Hi everyone

I've been with DP for 6 months. I came out of a long term relationship with an alcoholic ex.

So , the issue is around alcohol. He doesn't drink at all. Whereas I have had alcohol with food all my life. I have done a wine course with my job and I can pair wine with food and have been to caves in France with wine and cheese etc.

I find wine and food pairings amazing.

But he keeps calling me a lush, he says things in front on my siblings and children (which they have picked up on)

I went through a stage of hiding alcohol from him, but to me this is destructive as I feel like im being secretive. I then realised this was actually making me drink more !
So now I dont hide anything, but because of that, hes now calling me retarded, alcoholic, lush, etc.

I just want to live my life as I have always done, and at the age of 55 I know my limits. My daughter and sisters have picked up on his comments to.

I also notice that if I have any amount of alcohol at all he won't give me affection which I really need.

Im so confused 😕

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MNHQ

BeckyAMumsnet · 13/05/2026 12:07

Hi all,

Just stepping in on the Advanced Search point as we've had a few reports asking for clarity.

As ever, there’s a bit of nuance here. Advanced Search is a tool we provide, as @BIWI notes, and there are times when previous posts can give useful context, especially on complicated threads where posters are trying to give considered advice.

But there’s a clear difference between adding relevant context and using someone’s posting history to mock, attack, or “catch out” an OP. Where we think it’s being used in that way, we’re likely to delete. We don't think that's necessarily what's happening here but please be mindful of that when you're posting.

OP, we’re sorry you’re in such a difficult situation. If you feel controlled, frightened or unsure about what’s happening, please do consider contacting Women’s Aid for confidential support.

Thanks to those who got in touch, Please keep the OP’s situation in mind when posting, and try to keep things constructive from here.

Home - Women's Aid

Women's Aid is a grassroots federation working together to provide life-saving services and build a future where domestic violence is not tolerated.

https://womensaid.org.uk/

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