Married 16 years and worried my husband no longer loves me

[rosesarered79]

Hi i’m desperately seeking advice here. I have been married for 16 years and am still completely in love with my husband but I don’t think he feels the same anymore. We’ve been arguing a lot lately mainly because i’m convinced he no longer loves me. He doesn’t offer me much reassurance except i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t want to be and says he gets fed up with my paranoia. He works two jobs and gets quite tired so there isn’t a lot of spare time but he always finds time for various sports. We don’t do much together anymore even though i try. Last time we went out i became poorly mid date and he told me he tried, but I ruined it because I was ill. He doesn’t engage in much conversation when he is home and takes everything i say as a dig at him. I’m at my wits end i cry most days and i have refered myself to the local mental health team in the hope they have a miracle cure for my relationship anxiety. I just don’t know what to do 😭

I think Fred Flintstone has joined the thread.

Yabba dabba don't.

When you say she's "hard work" do you mean for feeling paranoid that her husband is treating her like a piece of the furniture and asking him why?

But what if his "checked out" behaviour came first and is the cause of her becoming (in your eyes) "hard work"?

This is another post that blames the woman in the relationship and is up there with the "put on a short skirt" advice.

OP - as pp have said, try to focus on yourself and your own interests & stop banging your head on the brick wall of her husband's indifference for a while.
Make sure he is pulling his weight fully in the household and with the kids, perhaps by stepping back a bit & forcing him to because you are going out or doing other things.

I note that he manages to spend time on his sports in addition to work & I wonder how much free time you also get to do the things you want to?

Have a break from the paranoia & questioning him and try to enjoy yourself independently which will hopefully make you feel happier & stronger.
Taking the pressure off you both might improve things anyway or if not when you have put a bit of distance there then you could have the conversation with him again & explain how you feel.

Thank you for replying 😊