Sorry if it’s long so 1 year ago now my ex partner of 12 years who is 43 and father to my children walked out text me after we bickered said he wasn’t coming back was sick of bickering said he had made a choice whether right or wrong was for him to deal with. I was obviously heartbroken he went cold shut down avoided engaging. I get he emotionally checked out as we were bickering I worked 9-5 he was a driver working 5-1am and all weekend so never seen each other he seen kids 1 hour a day I was burnt out. Soon as he left it was lads holidays pub nights and then obviously someone else (unsure if was affair or just right place right time it doesn’t matter now I’m over that bit) he moved straight in with her after 6 weeks introduced children told me he couldn’t afford flat and made financial sense had all these big plans with her not done what he said he was (saying move to bigger house holidays) he walked out on her after 3 months got his own flat but they stayed together well on and off as I hear through people the children aren’t involved now (they were giving things another go without them involved) so has an easy life no stress of kids and always out. He Quit job wanted kids 50/50 as went on benefits now back at same job doesn’t pay a penny I’ve tried Child maintenance but because on benefits and not declaring income he told me he doesn’t need to pay as provides a flat for them. Even though I’m over that intense heart break it’s the comments I hear how he’s said he’s messed up walking out on her how he’s hurt the person that means the most to him it’s an insult as I was heartbroken I get I re presented responsibility and pressure and new life is freedom. I just don’t know know why still stings a bit like she meant more than I ever did. Every other week can tell when they split as I get a message he’s putting kids first then doesn’t. When he drops kids off earlier or doesn’t pay we argue and he tells me every couple of months how happy he is and how she makes him more than happy. I do some days feel insulted as I have a good career in nhs good mam lovely house and she works one night a week in a pub has her kids removed (not her was due to abusive ex) lives with her 5 cats and is a drinker which he has started doing. I know my life is better now even if it’s not life I wanted done 4 holidays on my own with kids I have a life go out lost 3 stone but it’s these comments where I feel like I wasn’t good enough and worthless and it’s a pattern she constantly finishes him and he makes big dramatic statements to me how his life is a car crash Sorry just having a rant as haven’t got a while