Partner unsupportive after my pet died, am I right to reconsider us?

[Shani85]

I lost my beloved pet last week im devastated. It was a traumatic experience as she was having seizures all night and hallucinating and screaming. She had to be put down which was traumatising saying goodbye. My partner of 11 years was very cold towards me when i was crying he sat on his phone and was singing. We had an arguement as i felt really alone in that moment and he went home. A couple of days later he sent me a message explaining he find people crying over death hard to deal with as he lost his dad when he was younger and people crying over death brings that all back to him. I said I understood but he never said sorry or making me feel alone and uncared for in that moment its like I had to listen amd understand his side but i never got a sorry. I kinda disconnected from him abit after that and yesterday i had to sort out her cremation and getting her ashes and it took a toll on me i was awake crying most the night. Ontop of that i am under alot of financial stress aswell as the sshes are costing me £300 and my car has just broken and i just dont have the money to fix it. This morning he called me and said 'you alright' i said 'i have to shut off for a few days' he said in an aggressive tone 'for what reason' i said im just really feeling emotionally stressed and financial pressure' he said again in an agrressive tone 'well i dont know why your stressing so much, you need to go to the doctor' and then said he had to go and that was it. I left the call feeling really uncared for again. I sent him a message saying i really dont need that aggressive tone at this time when im already feeling so low. He then tried to say it was an aggressive tone and im making it up then started being abusive to me over messgaes and saying i just want to argue because i am in a bad mood. I just dont know what to do now. I cant believe the lack of care and understanding i am getting from him. I feel really disconnected and feel like finishing with him but I know my emotions are all over the place at moment. What should i do? I cant talk to him he always turns things around or says its all in my head or that things didnt happen that way but thats just not true.

I am so sorry about your dear pet @Shani85 .
You are better off on your own ❤️

Earthsight - what you said should be taught to every girl in secondary school, about men using women to serve them and get annoyed if their household appliance breaks down.

What a heartless bastard. His behaviour shows that he is a very unkind person. The singing on his phone while you were crying is so fucking cruel. I would end the relationship. A partner should be kind and supportive.

I’m so sorry that you have lost your pet. You shouldn’t have to deal with his behaviour on top of what is a very sad time for you. I still cry about dogs and cats we lost years ago. x

Up if ye are 11 years together I think you both need to see if ye want to stay together. I don’t think it’s that it reminds him of his dad, if he’s not an animal person I’d guess he’s not relating at all and thinking he’s lost his dad and you’re sad over a pet. People who aren’t animal people don’t get that an animal can be so upsetting

He is not a decent man OP. He is selfish and cruel. You can find things hard to bear personally, but that doesn't stop you choosing to offer comfort to another in their time of need. He chose not to.

In contrast, I messaged my EX-partner when the cat we'd shared eventually died, a good few years after we broke up. He sent me the kindest, most thoughtful reply saying he knew I would have done the right thing and <cat> would have known how much she was loved etc.

Losing a parent young is devastating, but does not make the bereaved the only person entitled to feel sadness.
A deal-breaker I still remember from many years ago; I had just come home from work, and referred to a colleague who was a mutual acquaintance, concerned about an ailing parent;
"David's a bit concerned about his old dad - "
"Huh, at least he's still got a dad to worry about!"
Admittedly, he had had some tough breaks, but haven't we all?

Same. I needed to go to the vet and have my cat PTS and he just couldn't be bothered about my distress

I’m so sorry, it’s very hard losing them. Devastating.

Get rid. He doesn’t even like you so stop wasting time with this twat. You deserve better!

This is your sign to remove this pathetic excuse for a human from your life. You’ve had far more sympathy from a bunch of complete strangers on the internet than this prick. I am so terribly sorry for your loss 💐

I am so sorry for your loss op 💐

Your partner sounds like a cruel, heartless narcissist. He has shown you what he is, he will not change.

You have a choice, what do you feel you should do about him?

Block. Immediately.

Don’t waste any emotional energy on this complete weirdo. You will need all your energy for your grief.

I am so sorry you lost your pet, it’s so hard.

Ime people show their true colours when death occurs..
When my dgm was in icu snd then died my dh wanted me to ask my aunt (her dd) for fuel costs for him taking me to visit her..
Exh within a few months.
My current dh grieved with me when our beautiful ddogs died last year.

So sorry for your loss op..