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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband furious over men at spiritual event and years of jealousy

38 replies

gingersnaps99 · 25/04/2026 23:31

Sorry - convoluted story. We are early 50's - 3 young adult children. For context - I work in the wellness space (yoga, meditation, massage). Have done for many years. My DH has always been really weird when I have worked with men (1:2:1 yoga or massage students) - to the point I had one long term client who he used to "joke about" that I was going to "get bummed" when I went to teach him. This is a very small and occasional percentage of my clients and has always made me feel uncomfortable, and has definitely impacted who I work with. Today I was going to my first sweat lodge - a very sacred and ceremonial practice. (this is a hot dark tent with heated stones where you do different ceremonies and meditation practices). He joked before I went about it being all men. And low and behold - it was. The leader said this was super unusual, the norm was more women than men. It was quite an intense spiritual experience, and actually lovely to be in the presence of men in a really positive and respectful way. There was 5 men including the leader and ranged from 30;s - 60's. I made the mistake of telling him this when I got home. He asked me about the day and I started to tell him about the different sessions/practices - then he told me to leave and take a shower ( he was watching football but I could see he was a bit annoyed). Anyhow - this then translated into him not speaking to me, and when I went to see him in the garden him shouting fuck off at me in the most hateful way. I came in to speak to him and he was saying how disgusting it was I had been half naked with men and smearing honey on each other !!( I mentioned a mediation where we put a little honey on OUR OWN HEART and chanted. He said I was goading him, taking perverse pleasure in this, that he had been in tears in the garden. He left the house (ie packed a bag and drove off). We spoke on the phone a bit later. He still kept going on about goading him about being 1/2 naked with men??? How would I like it if roles were reversed (I wouldn't bat an eyelid) (and to be very clear - he is the one in the relationship who will comment on how women look - or say "she;s been flirting with me" etc). Also saying "non of the men at work would find this acceptable" - I'm sure they would find the whole thing weird - but the people in my yoga community wouldn't find it an issue and it isn't about anyone else. We talked about lots of things - I was calm but firm - I have spent years tiptoeing around his mood and am sick of it. I told him I could understand why he might be a bit uncomfortable but there was no need for aggressive behaviour and he could have spoken to me like an adult about it. I asked should I have lied and said women were there too? He eventually came home - still saying I have goaded and emasculated him and is sleeping in the spare room. For me - it is not about tonight - it is that he tries to make me fit his idea of what I should be (he like to "show me off" to his friends) and there has been so many occasions over the years he has gone off on one and disappeared for a day or two. I am sick of having to curtail who I am to fit his image of me. (this is not a midlife crisis - I have been in this holistic space for nearly 30 years and think I am pretty tame compared to lots of people). I have been very calm and rational but I will not apologize when I have done nothing wrong.

OP posts:
PaperMachePanda · 25/04/2026 23:56

He’s an immature idiot. How on earth you’ve put up with him for so long is beyond me.

unsync · 26/04/2026 00:22

Why are you with someone who doesn't want you to be yourself?

FlamingoFloss · 26/04/2026 00:26

I think you know what you need to do lovely. Sorry you’re in this position - it’s never going to be better and you deserve more x

GentleIron · 26/04/2026 01:36

Ouch. He is massively unreasonable, of course. I'm interested in how it is that you lead such different lives? I too have worked in alternative wellness and still inhabit those spaces despite now being on a different career path -like you, it's a part of my life, of how I manifest in the world, how I grow and heal. I can't imagine living and parenting with a partner who not only did not share my way of life on such a basic level, but who also made my lifestyle a problem and caused me to second guess who to work with, what work to do and what I felt I could share with him. I think I'd feel very isolated and disconnected from my partner. Is this the case for you? How do you integrate the experiences which shape your life into your family space when your husband is being so hostile and dismissive?
(In your shoes, I'd take him on his word and elope with a bloke from the sweatlodge... that'd teach him.) Best of luck, OP.

Putitinanenvelope · 26/04/2026 02:01

I’m surprised you have lasted this long in the relationship tbh.
it sounds like he wouldn’t be able to trust himself if he were in a similar situation with a group of women and assumes that you think the same way as him.
Would he be open to trying some of these experiences with you, would that help him “get it”? If not he’s never going to be accepting that you can experience an intimate, sharing experience with other men without it being a precursor to an orgy.

LaurenBacal · 26/04/2026 05:15

What an utter pillock. I wouldn’t be with him anymore quite honestly.

Bluegreenbird · 26/04/2026 05:43

Well he’s doing you a favour being such an arsehole and making it clear that you exist only to serve his interests.
You are either extremely passive or a people pleaser to a damaging extent.
You cannot win. He won’t change. He doesn’t want to. When you eventually leave him he will tell everyone you are a cheat and a slag and all of that. Let him. You know the truth.
What are the practicalities of leaving?

itwasyourshowallalong · 26/04/2026 05:50

This isn’t your fault - he’s a massive bellend

I genuinely couldn’t live like this, he’s manipulative, childish and utterly disrespectful

IIWY I wouldn’t stay with him

Parkrun69 · 26/04/2026 07:48

Speaking as a married man I been on several courses similar to the one you describe including a tantric massage course I have always found everyone and ever aspect to totally professional and within the boundaries set .
Im somewhat shocked after all these years your husband is both rude and unsupportive of your spiritual path and clearly unwilling to come with you and try whilst my wife doesn’t enjoy these thinks she appreciates it’s important to me and likewise knows it’s not an orgy !

gingersnaps99 · 26/04/2026 08:49

@GentleIron When we met one of the things that attracted me to him was that he was a bit of a "hippy" - long hair, free spirit, been travelling loads. And we travelled a lot before kids, and last year had a wonderful 2 month backpacking trip to Asia - so in some ways he not conventional, but he has never had the spiritual interest I have. But over the years I realised he is much more traditional than he would admit - especially around gender roles. Whilst yoga etc has been a big part of my life for well over 30 years, my kids had a regular upbringing (but support all my "crazy" stuff) - and we very much live in middle class middle England village.

OP posts:
gingersnaps99 · 26/04/2026 08:54

@Bluegreenbird I agree - I have been(as a bit still) a people pleaser - and have tiptoed around his reactions in the past because I had 3 small children to look after and he went through several years of very bad mental health so I totally overcompensated. I am very much working on boundaries and speaking my own true now - it is still really challenging to me, (the guilt is enormous even though I know I not being unreasonable) but I am conscious of previous patterns that really have not served me

OP posts:
Imbusytodaysorry · 26/04/2026 08:55

@gingersnaps99 lifebis too short to stay with a jealous absusive man.
It’s ok for him to deliberately look at women and comment about them , however you can’t do your work without an issue .
It actually shows where his mind is and not yours.

Id make this my last fight over it and tell him enough is enough. It’s over

gingersnaps99 · 26/04/2026 08:57

@Parkrun69 Thank you for your comment and sharing your experience. Yesterday was such a supportive space and a really nice change as most of the work I do is with women, (God forbid I say that to my husband though).

OP posts:
CoverLikelyZebra · 26/04/2026 09:02

Do you know much about his history in whether he's ever been a client at a "msssage parlour" of the black-windowed "clearly actually a brothel" variety? Because it seems to me his reaction to your work is based on assuming that massage is part of the sex trade.

PlateauDeChamp · 26/04/2026 09:15

I agree with @Putitinanenvelope that men who act like this are usually the ones who upon meeting a woman try to work out if they would want to have sex with her, as in, how attractive is she, would I want to sleep with her?

This is how they think so every man must also think like this. Therefore any man is looking at you working out if they would want to have sex with you. If he trusted you then this wouldn't be an issue but he realises he comes up short in some way and that means you would entertain leaving him for someone better.

You shouldn't have to lie about your job or contemplate it. He doesn't accept you for who you are. I think what you do is incredible. Dh and I have a physio to our house every month, I chat to her whilst she works on Dh (he mostly winces) and then she does a full body massage on me. Bliss. It is important to look after your physical health and mental well being and clearly men are seeing that and booking in with you. I am not sure why it is emasculating for him for you to massage other men.

I think this is no way to live. Do any of your children still live at home?

Marineboy67 · 26/04/2026 10:29

I think your just not compatible anymore, he has his idea of the relationship which is not who you are or were anymore. Your continuing to evolve your spiritual self which he fails to understand or accept. Its definitely the fork in the road time your on seperate paths!

gingersnaps99 · 26/04/2026 11:43

@CoverLikelyZebra this is definitely not it - it is about the way he feels about me and a sense of ownership I guess of me

OP posts:
FeistyFrankie · 26/04/2026 12:14

He sounds deeply insecure, controlling, and a bully. I couldn't put up with that.

catipuss · 26/04/2026 12:26

He's jealous and doesn't like you being with other men. Men and women can be like that and from all the threads on here they are not always wrong that there could be something going on. It's easy to say that couples should trust each other completely and not worry about these things but it's really not that simple in real life. You had told him it wouldn't be all men, but it was and telling him what a great time you had and all these rituals you and all these men did together. I'm not sure you would be as happy as you say if he was spending time alone in a sweaty hot dark tent with five women, unless he's really unattractive.

FeelingALittleWoozyHere · 26/04/2026 12:29

Sorry OP, this is no way to live I would absolutely be considering this relationship

Squirrelchops1 · 26/04/2026 12:34

I'm so sorry that your lovely, enriching experience has been totally sidelined by this bellend.
You're better than me as if my partner ever tells me to fuck off he will find me in his space shouting it back....but I am rather firey.

gingersnaps99 · 26/04/2026 12:45

@catipuss if he went to a sweat lodge and it was all women - I wouldn't have a problem for a second. It is a sacred and respectful place. People thinking there is anything sexual in these places clearly have never been to something like this and is more telling about their beliefs about men/women than reality

OP posts:
CoverLikelyZebra · 26/04/2026 12:58

gingersnaps99 · 26/04/2026 11:43

@CoverLikelyZebra this is definitely not it - it is about the way he feels about me and a sense of ownership I guess of me

Envy (nausea). Any man who feels a sense of "ownership" over a woman rather than respecting her as a free individual would utterly guve me the ick. I couldn't stay in such a relationship.

DuskOPorter · 26/04/2026 13:08

I’m not sure how ready or open you are to at this point hearing that what you have written sounds like abuse to me @gingersnaps99. From my reading of what you have written, he is an insecure man who is acting out his insecurities abusively towards you. In other words he is an abusive man.

That might feel confronting for you hearing that so bluntly but I just want to say out what I feel reading your words.

Gerwurtztraminer · 26/04/2026 17:10

gingersnaps99 · 26/04/2026 08:54

@Bluegreenbird I agree - I have been(as a bit still) a people pleaser - and have tiptoed around his reactions in the past because I had 3 small children to look after and he went through several years of very bad mental health so I totally overcompensated. I am very much working on boundaries and speaking my own true now - it is still really challenging to me, (the guilt is enormous even though I know I not being unreasonable) but I am conscious of previous patterns that really have not served me

Or maybe there was nothing wrong with his mental heath and it was a way to keep you on a short leash and compliant?

Also, what exactly are you feeling guilty about? And why? If you feel guilty the it sounds like he has you well trained and continues to reinforce it with his behaviour.