Sorry - convoluted story. We are early 50's - 3 young adult children. For context - I work in the wellness space (yoga, meditation, massage). Have done for many years. My DH has always been really weird when I have worked with men (1:2:1 yoga or massage students) - to the point I had one long term client who he used to "joke about" that I was going to "get bummed" when I went to teach him. This is a very small and occasional percentage of my clients and has always made me feel uncomfortable, and has definitely impacted who I work with. Today I was going to my first sweat lodge - a very sacred and ceremonial practice. (this is a hot dark tent with heated stones where you do different ceremonies and meditation practices). He joked before I went about it being all men. And low and behold - it was. The leader said this was super unusual, the norm was more women than men. It was quite an intense spiritual experience, and actually lovely to be in the presence of men in a really positive and respectful way. There was 5 men including the leader and ranged from 30;s - 60's. I made the mistake of telling him this when I got home. He asked me about the day and I started to tell him about the different sessions/practices - then he told me to leave and take a shower ( he was watching football but I could see he was a bit annoyed). Anyhow - this then translated into him not speaking to me, and when I went to see him in the garden him shouting fuck off at me in the most hateful way. I came in to speak to him and he was saying how disgusting it was I had been half naked with men and smearing honey on each other !!( I mentioned a mediation where we put a little honey on OUR OWN HEART and chanted. He said I was goading him, taking perverse pleasure in this, that he had been in tears in the garden. He left the house (ie packed a bag and drove off). We spoke on the phone a bit later. He still kept going on about goading him about being 1/2 naked with men??? How would I like it if roles were reversed (I wouldn't bat an eyelid) (and to be very clear - he is the one in the relationship who will comment on how women look - or say "she;s been flirting with me" etc). Also saying "non of the men at work would find this acceptable" - I'm sure they would find the whole thing weird - but the people in my yoga community wouldn't find it an issue and it isn't about anyone else. We talked about lots of things - I was calm but firm - I have spent years tiptoeing around his mood and am sick of it. I told him I could understand why he might be a bit uncomfortable but there was no need for aggressive behaviour and he could have spoken to me like an adult about it. I asked should I have lied and said women were there too? He eventually came home - still saying I have goaded and emasculated him and is sleeping in the spare room. For me - it is not about tonight - it is that he tries to make me fit his idea of what I should be (he like to "show me off" to his friends) and there has been so many occasions over the years he has gone off on one and disappeared for a day or two. I am sick of having to curtail who I am to fit his image of me. (this is not a midlife crisis - I have been in this holistic space for nearly 30 years and think I am pretty tame compared to lots of people). I have been very calm and rational but I will not apologize when I have done nothing wrong.