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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To spend full weekend with new man right before I travel.

45 replies

puncturedagain · 23/04/2026 14:41

We’re seeing one another two months, normally each week or twice per week. We live far away from each other but both make the effort. We both have full time busy jobs, teenagers at home and other commitments.
Im going overseas next week for a week with my teens.
This means that I won’t see him for two weeks. That’s perfectly fine but he has purchased tickets to a gig at the weekend for us , with my prior acceptance of the invitation. This is sat night an hour away from my home. I fly on Sunday am early.

He is very kind and courteous and within context has suggested that this may be too much for me and my kids to be away from Friday morning until late Saturday night in view of my early flight on the Sunday.
If we don’t do this it will be another extra week that we won’t have met one another and a month since we will have spent a night together.
I feel that we’re both on the same page with feelings and intention but a month without intimacy and two weeks without seeing each other at this early stage seems lacking?
He has left it completely up to me.
would it be unfair on my kids to be gone for that length of time before our early flight .. early Friday morning to late Saturday night. I don’t want him to cancel tickets as they’re paid for and it may be rude to suggest it.
They’re 15 and 17.

OP posts:
Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 15:19

dont go. Prioritise holiday, last min packing and planning and being with teens. All sounds very rushed. I’m with him

onmylastnerveseriously · 23/04/2026 15:21

I don’t understand the issue. The children are about to have all your attention for a week and are more than old enough to pack themselves.

Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 15:22

Bit of a random time to be going on hols with school age kids?

Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 15:22

How late on Saturday
how early on Sunday

CoastalCalm · 23/04/2026 15:24

Can’t you just go to the gig on the Saturday night rather than spend whole weekend with him ?

category12 · 23/04/2026 15:34

If your trip away pre-dates his buying the gig tickets then I'd skip it and see him afterwards.

He doesn't have to cancel, surely he's got a mate or relative he could take?

Sounds like it'll be quite stressful instead of fun if you're flying the next morning.

If your trip was booked after, I'd be more inclined to go but not sleep over.

Cricketashes · 23/04/2026 15:37

Might just be me but I wouldn't leave 2 teenagers alone for a weekend. Presume this is what you normally do when you see your bf?
It all sounds a bit of a rush to me.

category12 · 23/04/2026 15:40

I don’t want him to cancel tickets as they’re paid for and it may be rude to suggest it.

But he's already said its probably t

scoobysnaxx · 23/04/2026 15:42

Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 15:22

How late on Saturday
how early on Sunday

This.
if not too late or early just prep everything ahead of time and sleep on the plane

category12 · 23/04/2026 15:43

Oops ...

Cont.: too much, so I don't see how it's rude to say something like "yes, you're right, it's just not practical for me this time, which is a bummer. Maybe your mate Bob is available to go?"

PygmyOwl · 23/04/2026 15:44

I think it's fine to go if you want to OP. Your kids will be fine (I have DC of a similar age).

UnlikelyIntimacies · 23/04/2026 15:46

Where's the gig in relation to the airport you're flying out of?

Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 16:06

Op? If you want relevant answers you are going to have to engage with your own thread!

puncturedagain · 23/04/2026 17:10

UnlikelyIntimacies · 23/04/2026 15:46

Where's the gig in relation to the airport you're flying out of?

It’s two hours away !!

OP posts:
puncturedagain · 23/04/2026 17:11

category12 · 23/04/2026 15:34

If your trip away pre-dates his buying the gig tickets then I'd skip it and see him afterwards.

He doesn't have to cancel, surely he's got a mate or relative he could take?

Sounds like it'll be quite stressful instead of fun if you're flying the next morning.

If your trip was booked after, I'd be more inclined to go but not sleep over.

I guess I could be ready to go from Friday morning but it may be a little rushed yes

OP posts:
Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 17:12

So what time is the flight on Sunday? What time would you be back on Saturday.

Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 17:12

Why would he cancel? Take a friend? Take one of his teens?

DeadBug · 23/04/2026 17:15

Sounds desperate to me. Just don't see him until you get back.

Dweetfidilove · 23/04/2026 17:21

I'm guessing you are desperate for your intimacy fix before your holiday? Instead of all weekend, are you both free to spend the day together Saturday, gig in the evening, then go home after? Less stressful to wake up in the place you're departing from.

outerspacepotato · 23/04/2026 17:21

It doesn't sound like the gig will really work out. Your teens will be alone for the weekend and you'll be really rushed. You've got commitments elsewhere and spending the weekend with him is you dropping the ball with your kids unless your kids are very experienced packers and don't want your input into the trip.

puncturedagain · 23/04/2026 17:23

I’d be home home at eleven pm
ans leaving at seven am

OP posts:
Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 17:25

Feasible, certainly

Would I do it? Hell no

Taxeffectively · 23/04/2026 17:26

I mean…. You really think this very fleeting visit, which most of it will be spent at a gig or in the car, is important to this relationship?

DamsonGoldfinch · 23/04/2026 17:28

Why did he book gig tickets on Saturday evening when you’re flying early Sunday?

Pearlstillsinging · 23/04/2026 17:28

So where is the problem?