Marriage probably ending, I will be screwed I think?

[polotop]

I think that I’m going to be in a really sticky situation.

I think that my marriage is over. This has been the feeling over the last two months and I’ve reached my limit. I have 3DC, only the youngest is H’s. Here’s why I’m feeling very stuck.

H has a good job and I’ve been a SAHM for about 2 years now. I only had entry level retail jobs so it wasn’t a career sacrifice or anything. I have about 19K in savings (well we have roughly that each). So I’d be over the uc threshold. I have no family. Where am I meant to go if that’s what it’s come to? Housing association houses take years here. House is his. I get I’ve been stupid but what do I actually do?

When you say that the house is his, what do you mean? As you are married, you should get something from the house unless it has been formally carved out?

If you have nowhere to go, can you stay put for now? You may not own it but it's your marital home. How long have you been married?

If you are married then the house is half yours Even if your name isn’t on the mortgage(unless a prenup or equivalent was signed). You will likely be entitled to half his pension too.

Try not to panic, but get some legal advice.

1.5 years married. Not in England but in uk.

You have £19k in savings, if the house is his then get a rental and find a job that works around your children.

You need to get legal advice. 18 months is not a long marriage so I don't know if you'd be entitled to half the house but you're surely entitled to something. If you have savings, you will have to use that for rent until it runs out and you can apply for universal credit.

I think they take into account the length of the living-together part of the relationship, not just the actual married period. Sounds like you would have been together longer than 18mths/2 yrs.

If it's safe to do so, I'd stay put in the house until the divorce settlement.

How old are your other dc and how did you live before him?

Your children have already had to deal with one life changing split. That is hard on everyone, but especially dc. Two would be very unsettling.

Could the marriage be saved with some conversations and effort on both sides?

Obviously if there has been any abuse or cheating then it's better for dc to seperate, but otherwise it's not.

How long have you been living together?

You are actually married, yes?

You say it’s his house, was this legally ringfenced? If not, it’s probably going to be considered a marital asset.

You need legal advice. Many of the family law firms my area give thirty minutes advice for free.

No they don’t.

According to the top Google result of solicitor here, https://thpsolicitors.co.uk/family-faqs-how-can-living-together-before-marriage-affect-a-financial-settlement-at-divorce/ if there's a "seamless transition" from living together to marriage, it can be taken into account. As in their example of a couple living together for 15 years but only married 18 months.

Your savings will finance private rented accommodation and when they fall beneath the UC threshold you can claim UC. But best advice is get a job too.

Your savings will keep you going for a bit and then once under the threshold you’ll be entitled to help.
Would you get nothing from the house?

You'll probably have to use your savings to use until you're under the threshold OP. But ultimately you'll have to work at some point.

Maybe you should see a solicitor and find where the land lies. It might not be as bleak as you're thinking.

When you say you’ve reached your limit- do you need to go now, or can you just know you are working towards an exit and split. Are your kids in nursery or school?

You need to get a job as a priority, and you need to speak with the council. Whilst housing can take years and you might not be entitled to UC, the reality is that you are going to find private rented very difficult- you need to prove income and your amount of savings whilst high enough to exclude you from UC, will not be enough to rent without an income. So yes, council housing team.

This is the stage mumsnet calls getting your ducks in a row. Unless the situation is dangerous, it can be more bearable if you see there’s an end in sight.

If you’re not in England then Scotland maybe? If so, I think I’ve read on here that only assets brought during the marriage count towards marital assets? So if the house was his then it stays his. Get some legal advice. You’d get Child support from him based on his high income, and you’ll go under the savings limit pretty quickly once paying for yourself so benefits would be available until once you do until you can find yourself a job.

You have 19k in savings. You pay for a rented accommodation and get a job that will be topped up by UC once your savings dip below a certain amount.

Do you receive maintenance for your older children?

From your timeline, did you give up work when you moved in with DH, 6 months before baby was born?

You need to see a solicitor OP. It's a short marriage but you have a child together so you will be entitled to maintenance payments and possibly a share in the house.

You need proper legal advice. The advice on here for divorcing women is often incorrect, doesn’t take account of your jurisdiction ie Scotland, NI, or risky. Sorry you’re facing this :(

He will have to pay maintenance and you will have to rent and get a job which hopefully will be topped up by benefits .
People telling you that you would be entitled to half the house after a 1.5 year marriage are incorrect,

He might not need to pay child maintenance if he's the resident parent or parents equal amount of time as OP.

You are close to two years married. Has he told you he wants a separation?! If not I’d be doing everything in my power to try and save the relationship until you are over that 2 year mark

Unless dh is being violent then you obviously can’t stay.

Start job hunting and find out capacity for local paid-childcare.

Two years makes no difference