Is my sister's regular customer behaving oddly or just lonely?

[Hesafloppyhairedfool]

Not sure what to make of this.

My sister is a hairdresser & has a male customer (60) who keeps popping in to chat to her. She's been cutting his hair for years but he's recently started growing it long & is slightly obsessed with it, so keeps popping in to ask her advice.

Last week she was cutting someone's hair & this male came to the shop to chat with her (again, about his hair 🙄) but instead of just walking in & chatting, he crouched down outside the door, peering in through the glass panels (door is top half glass, bottom half solid). Then he walked in, chatted to her about his hair (again! 😆) and then left.

I think he's a weirdo but not sure if that's just me!

Is your sister concerned?

I think she's trying to downplay it as 'just him' but she's only 24 & quite shy.

Could be dementia, could be creepy obsessive man. Not nice for your sister!

Yeah. I know of him (nice family) & he comes across as quite personable but I do find his behaviour quite strange, I have to say.

how many times popped in over how long?

He started popping in about 6/7 mths ago about once a week, fussing about his hair, asking what shampoo to use on it, etc.

I think he's started popping in a bit more recently. 🤨

No that’s odd.

Yep I agree @Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain

Also, it's usually when it's the salon late night just before closing & not many people around, which I find a bit disconcerting.

Is she the manager? Or if not the manager needs to have a word. "I've noticed you are here more than once a week and taking up X's time, is there a problem". He'll likely back off.

“Summerhillsquare · Today 22:29
Is she the manager? Or if not the manager needs to have a word. "I've noticed you are here more than once a week and taking up X's time, is there a problem". He'll likely back off.”

I agree with this. This guy is starting to impose on your sister. It’s not okay.

That’s concerning. Assuming your sister isn’t the manager, the manager needs to have a firm word.

Even worse. I’d be tempted to tell him to find another salon.

He is disrespecting your sister in her working environment. I hope the salon directorbhas gotbher back.

Your sister should document each visit too. I am assuming this isn’t a Vidal Sassoon salon in Central London so only a few staff on site

Creepy as fuck.
He’s completely taking advantage of your sister being ‘ quite shy’.
As women we’re often conditioned to be polite over everything else and it doesn’t serve us well , it puts us in danger.

Encourage her to be firm with him and to stop indulging these free "consults".

She needs stock phrases in mind like "I haven't got time today, you'll need an appointment"
" I'm with a customer, if you book in a time with reception ..." etc etc.

It doesn't really matter if she loses him as a customer, her safety is more important.

Do not downplay the risk factor as while a 60yr old man may not be as strong and fit as one her age, he's still a potential threat - and he sounds fixated.

He is absolutely being a creep. It’s also unfair on the clients that he keeps interrupting to monopolise your sister’s time. Could you rehearse a more assertive response with her?

Of course it's odd.

Whether or not it's a red flag for escalating to dangerous behaviour is another matter but you must surely already know this isn't usual behaviour?

I think back to the 19th century when women would use long hat pins purely to defend themselves against men and wonder how we have got to a point where, even when men's poor behaviour towards and around women is widely recognised and accepted, we still have women asking questions like this.

Your sister needs to be protected and he needs to be removed.

And I'd also want her to speak to the salon manager and either they "have a word" and stop him coming in, or only allow him in for appointments and time those only for when other staff are there.

I’d say to him. “One of my customers was disgruntled that she wasn’t receiving my full attention when you popped in. Would you mind keeping your visits to appointments. I need to focus. “

I think he needs telling his behaviour is inappropriate and needs to stop.

It’s odd behaviour. Is there any chance he was tying his shoelace or anything because crouching down behind the door moves the behaviour from odd to really extremely odd and worrying.

The audacity. Your 24 year old Sister does not want to f*ck this man but he clearly thinks he has a shot just because she was nice to him as part of her job.

Can she refuse to attend him now? Pass him as a client to someone else?

He's going to escalate. In his mind, he is owed her attention.

Yes it’s odd behaviour and yes you should be concerned.

1. the manager needs to be made aware and needs to have a word with him.
2. your sister needs to write down every time it happens and has happened

She also needs to decide if she wants to cut his hair going forward. If not then he needs to be banned or the manager appoint someone else to do it (and say your sister is fully booked up).

Totally agree
100% he's another entitled bloke, who thinks your sister will jump at the opportunity.