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Original poster

Am I unreasonable to feel hurt about football trip over family holiday?

64 replies

ThisOpenLimeLion · 17/04/2026 08:19

Just after honest opinions / thoughts on the below situation please.
i have wanted to book a family holiday (with our 2 year old ) towards the end of the year for a few months now however my husband ( who is always the sensible one ) has said that we want to spend some money on house renovations / improvements this year so let’s hold off. Although initially I was disappointed I understood this and agreed. Anyway fast forward 2 months and there is the potential that his football team he supports may make it into a European final abroad and he expressed that he would like to go ! I was very upset when he mentioned this and felt like how can he spend money on this and not prioritise a family holiday. His argument was that the two are not comparable - a family holiday likely to be more expensive so how can I compare. He also said that we have a couple of short trips booked already, one with extended family and a weekend just the two of us but as I pointed out nothing just the three of us. I can completely understand that it may be a once in a lifetime opportunity for him however I can’t help but feel sad that he’s happy to think about booking a football trip but not commit now to a holiday with his wife and child. In my opinion he should either do both or not at all. Am I wrong/ 😑 overeating? I don’t want to cause a huge argument about it but want my husband to understand how I feel about the situation.

OP posts:
Whatado · 17/04/2026 11:03

One of the things I am most adamant on in life is not losing or sacrificing experiences and things that I am most passionate about because I happen to be a mother or wife. Same for my husband.

We are also fortunate like you to have a level of income that it rarely means excluding one for the other.

If the choices were him going and no trips as a couple or family at all that would be more of a discussion. Honestly if he could get a ticket I would still make it work. On the basis our next priority was a family trip.

With a wider family holiday plus a break just us, I wouldn't even have a discussion with my husband beyond what do you need to do to try and get a ticket and go from there.

AlcoholicAntibiotic · 17/04/2026 11:06

I don’t understand people who would prioritise a football game over their family.

If he wants to go to the football, he needs to make it work for a family holiday as well. Perhaps he could cut back on something he wanted for the house renovation if he insists on being selfish?

Oriunda · 17/04/2026 11:08

YABU. A 2yo will not remember that family holiday. You might, but you’re an adult who knows that there will be another occasion for a family holiday the next year.

There's more chance of pigs flying than DH’s team reaching any sort of final (sorry, DH), but he would move heaven and earth to attend with DS, and I would fully support this.

99bottlesofkombucha · 17/04/2026 11:21

Whatado · 17/04/2026 11:03

One of the things I am most adamant on in life is not losing or sacrificing experiences and things that I am most passionate about because I happen to be a mother or wife. Same for my husband.

We are also fortunate like you to have a level of income that it rarely means excluding one for the other.

If the choices were him going and no trips as a couple or family at all that would be more of a discussion. Honestly if he could get a ticket I would still make it work. On the basis our next priority was a family trip.

With a wider family holiday plus a break just us, I wouldn't even have a discussion with my husband beyond what do you need to do to try and get a ticket and go from there.

But where do you get prioritised in this? Priority 1 his footy, priority 2 family trip… I don’t accept a scales that has being with your family on my side and himself on the other side.

99bottlesofkombucha · 17/04/2026 11:23

SJM1988 · 17/04/2026 08:39

If cost was the main reason for not going on a family holiday, I'd ask to do a comparison between what he will spend on the football trip and what the holiday you wanted is.
If it is close in cost, you are not unreasonable. If it is a fraction for him to go to the football, I'd say unreasonable as its not something that always happens.

Like someone else has said, I don’t think they are cheap and I’d want to see the budget then see as well that that was the actual cost, because you don’t get to say no family holiday and then spend just about that much on the footy.

chubb4 · 17/04/2026 11:25

I don’t think the two are comparable. This could be a once in a lifetime thing whereas you can have a family holiday any time. I get why you’re a bit put out but I don’t think he’s being unreasonable. The compromise would be that you also get a solo girls holiday or something similar.

And there are lots of nice places you can visit in the UK as a family.

UpDownAllAround1 · 17/04/2026 11:36

Wow! Once in a lifetime weekend for him. YABU

Holtome · 17/04/2026 11:41

If it's a club that doesn't often get the opportunity, this is huge and he should go.

The two things are not comparable. The football is a once in a lifetime thing and you do have other trips planned.

The family holiday is important too though, as you should both be working on finding a way to make that happen.

Whatado · 17/04/2026 11:46

99bottlesofkombucha · 17/04/2026 11:21

But where do you get prioritised in this? Priority 1 his footy, priority 2 family trip… I don’t accept a scales that has being with your family on my side and himself on the other side.

Show quote history

Well his is last to be booked and going on the wider family trip and couple trip isnt being cancelled to facilitate him going on the football trip.

So clearly family time plus alone couple time is a priority to him.

Walig54 · 17/04/2026 11:46

I wouldn't voluntarily take a very young child on a holiday that involves flying. Holidays are not the be all of life, it's a luxury, the same with football travel. The home you live in should be the main priority in both cases.

outerspacepotato · 17/04/2026 11:49

You already have a couple short trips booked so I would tell him to go and enjoy the game. Your kid is so young they won't miss or remember a holiday. Your husband will. If he goes, as a sports fan, he'll remember this the rest of his life. If he doesn't go, there's going to be this little kernel of regret and possibly resentment starting up.

Holtome · 17/04/2026 11:53

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 17/04/2026 08:31

I'm into football and I understand how it takes over people's lives. But I think it's extremely double standards of OP's H to talk about prioritising their money for the home improvements over the need for a holiday but then to say his football interests take prescedence over both.

And I would dispute that he will be able to do the football trip cheaply. The match tickets will be expensive and the travelling expenses, accommodation and the inevitable boozing and entertainment with his pals will all add up to a substantial amount.

I think OP is right to be annoyed that she and his child are less important to him than his football.

I've done these kinds of trips often and they can be done very cheaply, if you book at the right time. £40 flights at unsociable times, chepaest air bnb (because it's just somewhere to sleep) shared with friends and booze for one isn't the same as food, drink and entertainment for a family.

A man with his mates will comfortably travel on a much tighter budget than a family, who will value comfort and convenience.

I also can't really see the appeal of a foreign holiday with a 2yo TBH.

Hellohah · 17/04/2026 12:19

Holtome · 17/04/2026 11:53

I've done these kinds of trips often and they can be done very cheaply, if you book at the right time. £40 flights at unsociable times, chepaest air bnb (because it's just somewhere to sleep) shared with friends and booze for one isn't the same as food, drink and entertainment for a family.

A man with his mates will comfortably travel on a much tighter budget than a family, who will value comfort and convenience.

I also can't really see the appeal of a foreign holiday with a 2yo TBH.

Show quote history

Depending on the team, not very often can you get them cheap these days.
We went to Bilbao last year and it still cost over a grand for both of us.
I booked cheap flights to Barcelona, drove through Spain and stayed outside of Bilbao. Hotels in Bilbao were charging £1500/night.
I think the day trip with the ticket cost £800 😲

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/04/2026 12:22

The football match will be on the telly so he can watch it on there, instead of wasting money and time going abroad.

Sit · 17/04/2026 12:29

Is it in Istanbul?

Hotel not to bad but the flight was expensive when my partner did it a couple of years ago.

I’d agree to it though to be honest. It’s probably a one off for the clubs- is he a ST holder and can get a ticket.

GoodkneeBadKnee · 17/04/2026 12:32

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/04/2026 12:22

The football match will be on the telly so he can watch it on there, instead of wasting money and time going abroad.

🙄

OccasionalHope · 17/04/2026 12:33

When and where would it be? Could it be combined with a proper holiday?

Original poster
ThisOpenLimeLion · 17/04/2026 13:11

.

OP posts:
ErlingHaalandsManBun · 17/04/2026 13:32

GoodkneeBadKnee · 17/04/2026 08:24

Yes you're wrong. European finals don't come around often. I'd pick one over a family holiday in a heartbeat. And I'd encourage my dh to do the same. I don't expect non football people to understand this though.
Edited to add you can always go on holiday as a family next year.

Edited

This

But only football families I think will totally get this. If either of our teams made it to a Euro final and we had the chance to go we would encourage each other to do it.

beAsensible1 · 17/04/2026 14:05

They have got a couple trip booked as well. It’s really not fair to say family isn’t being prioritised.

waiting 6 to 12 months to afford a decent family holiday with a 3 rather than 2 year old is fine. There is no material change to the holiday or memories. As they won’t remember at either age and it will be relatively the same.

I don’t even think it’s sacrificing for football in particular. If it was a favourite artist or exhibition that was once in a life time to travel too it’s still just as reasonable.

DH can do a cheap room at a hostel or dingy hotel or stay out of the main town and travel in. Get a crap flight or go to a farther airport a get the train. There a multitudes ways to make it cheaper that are just not available when travelling a small child.

the way my DH travels alone is not the way we do together.

BatchCookBabe · 17/04/2026 14:07

YANBU of course @ThisOpenLimeLion but it's hardly surprising, the majority of men are selfish, and will always put themselves first. And if that thing they're putting themselves first for involves checking out of family/childcare responsibilites, then double bonus!

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 17/04/2026 14:32

Holtome · 17/04/2026 11:53

I've done these kinds of trips often and they can be done very cheaply, if you book at the right time. £40 flights at unsociable times, chepaest air bnb (because it's just somewhere to sleep) shared with friends and booze for one isn't the same as food, drink and entertainment for a family.

A man with his mates will comfortably travel on a much tighter budget than a family, who will value comfort and convenience.

I also can't really see the appeal of a foreign holiday with a 2yo TBH.

Show quote history

Well i agree with you about a foreign holiday with a 2 year old.

You may be right his trip might be done cheaper than I would have thought it would.

But the fact still remains he is prioritising his football over his family. Football. Home improvement. Family. That seems to be his thinking here.

When I was a home and away supporter the core support of the team - of which I counted myself as one - generally fell into 3 categories:
Those who attended every match at the expense of their family life and every thing else. A lot of them ended up separated from their partners.
Those who attended matches when it fitted into their lives, so they would put family and other life events first if it clashed with matches.
And those who embraced the football as a family. I fell into this category. We went as a family but mixed and talked to other supporters whole we were there

Seems to me OP's H is probably of the first category, or is shaping up to be someone who is always going to put football commitments at the top of his priorities.

asdbaybeeee · 17/04/2026 14:33

So option 1-

He goes away, the same amount is put away for either a family holiday or for you to do something with out him

option 2 -
you all go and make it a family trip and he goes to the match (4 hours) while you are there

The sad thing is he views a family holiday as less than a football trip

ThisJadeBear · 17/04/2026 14:44

I have worked out the two possible teams he could support, as two English teams play each other in a semi.
For either of those teams it’s an absolute occasion to get into a European final. For one in particular, it has extra meaning as their place in their own league at home is under threat.
I would support him going. It’s not going to be every year/every other year.
You want to try having an other half who supports Manchester City. If it’s not Europe it’s Wembley. On repeat.

PopcornKitten · 17/04/2026 17:42

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 17/04/2026 08:31

I'm into football and I understand how it takes over people's lives. But I think it's extremely double standards of OP's H to talk about prioritising their money for the home improvements over the need for a holiday but then to say his football interests take prescedence over both.

And I would dispute that he will be able to do the football trip cheaply. The match tickets will be expensive and the travelling expenses, accommodation and the inevitable boozing and entertainment with his pals will all add up to a substantial amount.

I think OP is right to be annoyed that she and his child are less important to him than his football.

I agree with this. Either the home improvements take priority or they don’t. What he’s saying is his needs take priority over yours and the home improvements.