Feeling so sad partners away …

[luluxxx]

I know this is not gonna make sense to most but my partner has just gone away for a work event and won’t be home till Saturday lunch time
i keep crying and just think that’s two nights without him,and feeling like I won’t get through it.
I know that sounds ridiculous
I hate that he has to have nights away (this time two ) every months.
I miss him and he’s only been gone 15 minutes.
I think I have some sort of separation anxiety.
I mean I have anxiety to start with.
Only thing I can think is my mam died when I was 14 and over the last few years I’ve lost all my family ,some only in 30s and now only my dad left.
My partner is my everything and I feel so sad when I’m alone.
Hes been gone 20 mins and I can’t stop crying
I need to get a grip
Im off work till next Wednesday (we have no kids yet ) so I thought I would paint the bathroom to keep busy.
Am I pathetic ?
I mean I know I am and I don’t want to be
I hate him driving hours away
Im worried he will have a accident as well and il loose him like them all.
How do I get through the next two nights ?
Well 40 hours

I don’t think the way you’re feeling is particularly healthy.
Do you have friends? Family? Hobbies?
Maybe use this time to branch out a bit and create more of a life for yourself so you aren’t relying on him so much.

Kindly OP, have you seen a GP for some support?
Maybe to refer you to talking support?

Yes, it does sound ridiculous. You need to get some therapy, acting like this is not normal or healthy.

It is not healthy for you as grown adult to be so dependent.
Not fair on him.
Maybe talk to a counsellor
If you struggling right now call samaritans

I think it is healthy to have time apart and would be concerned that you are having this strong a reaction.

My partner used to be away for a couple of weeks at a time for work in his last job, and I would initially miss him, get into my own routine, then start to miss him again before he came back - he'd often return with a fortnight worth of laundry and then I would wish he'd go away again! He now has a different job and less travel, but still goes off to sports things and I usually enjoy a night to myself/#girldinner/catching up with friends.

Do you have friends you can make plans with? I'd also suggest it might be smart to engage with your GP with a view to seeking some counselling in the future.

Well this sounds like a really healthy well balanced relationship doesnt it?

Are you very young OP?

I can relate to when i would feel panicky if xh went away for a few days. Then we had (3) kids (early 20s) and my mind state shifted to being an adult who is just as capable and important as anyone else. Obviously i still cared that everyone was ok, but i didn't feel that lost panic any more.

You'll be ok. He'll be ok.

It's not something anyone else can help you with really. You need to sort of grow out of it.
💐

You’re not pathetic, but you are far too reliant on your partner.

You need to use this time to book yourself a doctors appointment to address your anxiety. This isn’t healthy (for either of you).

Actually just realised you’re the OP who doesn’t want togo on holiday and leave your cats

Kindly I think you need therapy as this isn’t normal behaviour all round

Would you be annoyed if your partner lied like this? | Mumsnet

I mean, it's nice that you like him so much but I've never found myself crying when my DH goes on a business trip.

In fact, I'm exalted by the opportunity to have quiet to myself and manage my time without worrying about anyone other than me.

I wouldn't call you pathetic but I wouldn't say your behaviour is on par with what I would expect of someone in a healthy relationship with self or others.

Let us know how the bathroom painting goes? Distraction seems like a good idea!

I do have friends but we don’t see each other all the time due to life etc
My partner is lazy around the house but I still love him and miss him when he’s not here.

Given what a nasty man he is I would suggest you are trapped in a trauma bond and need to get yourself along to a good counsellor to break you free of it. This is unhealthy AF.

First of all, I'm so sorry you're experiencing such panic. It sounds like a response to all the grief you have faced due to the people you've lost in your life. I understand how grief can make you really worried about others dying and can see how it would make you feel scared to be alone. Speaking to someone about your fears might help because it sounds like there are lots of things to deal with that you may not have fully processed yet.

In the short term. Perhaps focusing on small things you can do right now might help? Reading a book, watching a film with some nice food/drinks to snack on, having a bubble bath, doing some stretching/
meditation. Going in your garden (if you have one) or taking a walk. Or even looking out your window and having a brew/a read/doing puzzles? Anything you like doing.

Having read your other thread though, your partner sounds awful. Tricking you and trying to get one over on you. Not a nice way to live. You have no children with him so it's easy to get away from this 'man'.

You are worth so much more.

I may have slightly felt like that the first time my DH went away but after over 20 years of marriage I absolutely love it when he is out of the house and I have space to myself! If anything I am in a grump when he returns, haha. OP you need to try enjoying your own company - fill the time with doing things you enjoy and pamper yourself. It may be because I’m a natural introvert but I love my own company now especially after having 3 kids (and a man child!)

this is not healthy and you have been brainwashed...

Sounds the height of needy.

You need therapy. This isn't normal.

Needy comes to mind.
Your a grown adult op have you been brainwashed.

I mean I think it’s normal to miss your partner but not to that degree. Like my partner goes away in 3 weeks for 3 weeks and I’ll miss him but you get on with it. You can still talk to him etc . If it’s effecting you that much then you need to seek therapy.