Feeling so sad partners away …

[luluxxx]

I know this is not gonna make sense to most but my partner has just gone away for a work event and won’t be home till Saturday lunch time
i keep crying and just think that’s two nights without him,and feeling like I won’t get through it.
I know that sounds ridiculous
I hate that he has to have nights away (this time two ) every months.
I miss him and he’s only been gone 15 minutes.
I think I have some sort of separation anxiety.
I mean I have anxiety to start with.
Only thing I can think is my mam died when I was 14 and over the last few years I’ve lost all my family ,some only in 30s and now only my dad left.
My partner is my everything and I feel so sad when I’m alone.
Hes been gone 20 mins and I can’t stop crying
I need to get a grip
Im off work till next Wednesday (we have no kids yet ) so I thought I would paint the bathroom to keep busy.
Am I pathetic ?
I mean I know I am and I don’t want to be
I hate him driving hours away
Im worried he will have a accident as well and il loose him like them all.
How do I get through the next two nights ?
Well 40 hours

He sounds like an unstable support for you to cling to.

That you feel you can't function independently and cry when he's going on a very brief trip is really problematic and unhealthy. Time for therapy.

I think you have a lot of trauma from all your loses and need some help with that. Start with your GP if you can't arrange some private counselling. It sounds like "D"P is putting more in top of that and exploiting your vulnerabilities.

OP knows her response isn't right, I don't know why PPs feel the need to bash her.

Firstly, @luluxxx, please promise us you will not have children with this man. Double up on your birth control.

Secondly, use this time while he is away to organise therapy. Tell your therapist everything you’ve told us.

Sorry op but this is seriously not normal or healthy.

As others have said, in a healthy, balanced relationship this is not a normal way to feel.

It could be down to your previous experiences or to the way he treats you. If he is inconsistent with his affection and sometimes treats you like a queen, sometimes treats you badly, this can create a confusion which might lead to these kind of extreme feelings when he is away.

Whatever the reason, this is not healthy. He is gone a matter of days and you are struggling to cope.

I think you need to be very honest with yourself about this relationship & try to work out why, as an adult, you are crying when you have to be alone for a couple of days.

It doesn’t sound ridiculous.

Losing people you love can change how safe something like distance feels. So when he goes away, it can trigger that deeper fear of loss, not just missing him. This may be why it feels so intense so quickly.

It sounds like he’s become your main place of comfort, so when he’s not there, everything can feel a lot bigger and harder on your own.

For these next couple of days, don't be so hard on yourself.

Try to remind yourself of what’s true right now, he’s away for work and coming back. Give your day some structure, something like painting the bathroom is actually a good idea.

Don't judge yourself for how you're feeling, acknowledge it and try to redirect yourself.

I feel sad that a lovely young woman like this, who has had so much loss, is missing a man who treats her like a doormat.
She deserves so much more.
She deserves to have a partner who treats her as an equal and a great life with friends and good times and a future.

👀👀

I feel a bit better now
Hes got there safe so I feel okay
My biggest thing is worrying about accidents etc
Im in bed with a tin of biscuits and a cuppa
I have a spa day with my good friend in two weeks to look forward too and a few cocktails with another friend next month but they have kids so we don’t see each other much ,once a month
Sometimes once every few months

It is totally understandable given the losses you have endured. This is a trauma response and is causing high anxiety. Even though your logical mind knows that the chances of anything bad happening to him are low, your unconscious nervous system has other ideas, and is triggering false alarms of panic and anxiety. Many people do not understand how trauma and anxiety present and WHY they present in the way they do. This is classic trauma induced anxiety. It would be more odd that you didn’t feel unease when your husband went away given the losses. Sending hugs and hope you manage to get through until his return. I know how you feel and I hear you. X

Hmm, yes, but the OP's partner isn't exactly a great one going by what she has posted previously.

She says here that he is lazy and posted a different thread the other day where she also complained that he does nothing to help out and that he lied to her.

It sounds more like the relationship is the issue tbh rather than just her previous trauma.

He sounds like a total waste of space.

Have you actually read the replies on any of your threads?

WTF @luluxxx?!

Have you read anything anyone here has been saying to you?

Give your head a wobble..

Please don’t have DC with this man, after reading your other thread