Please could you help me with my date from yesterday?

[sunmoonandmars]

I just want to start by saying that im a worrier.

been seeing a lovely man, 3 kids, for 2 months, he felt a little distant at first but out that down to busy job and seeing kids every other weekend 100 miles away, and visiting sick parents monthly.

contact has become very affectionate, he holds my hand, is very attentive, and cooked me dinner when I was sick last week. We have been meeting once every 10 days though due to family and work commitments on both sides.

We went for lovely dinner last night, came back to mine, he was very affectionate, I said it would be nice to meet more frequently as I enjoyed his company and missed him. He told me we had been busy, but didn’t say he wanted to see me more. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, i was relatively free and he told me he might play tennis, no offer to meet. He left without kissing me, and for the first time didn’t text when he reached home. This morning I texted him a link to a hotel we had talked about. He hasn’t replied,

im not sure what has happened or what i have done.

No I’m not new to MN, which probably means I should have known better - should’ve known to expect that the OP would get the typical same old LTB type replies 🙄 - in this case, ‘why bother, it’s too much effort, there’s red flags everywhere blah, blah’ it’s like people on here are unable to comprehend how attraction, love and relationships work and that the key ingredient is mutual attraction, respect and connection. Maybe you’ve all been married so long you’ve completely forgotten what it feels like to have strong feelings for someone…either that or you’re all just emotionless robots walking round with a giant, very strict and specific tick list of dealbreakers, that don’t account for the fact that someone you truly connect with doesn’t come around very often

sounds like he doesnt want the extra commitment

he left without kissing you?
would he have described that you were complaining?

sorry, i have read your update
i wouldnt like his attitude personally

he should make you feel secure not worried

OP, please don’t think you asked for too much. It’s just too much for this man.. so with that knowledge.. maybe you can move on and find someone who can meet your needs 🫶🏼

Maybe he just doesn't have more to give. 3 children, ailing parents, a job and a hobby... that's a full life.
He probably needs someone with a similar set of circle, or just needs less time.
I think you're incompatible.

2 months datong
and he is balancing 3 children living a considerable distance away from him, an ex wife, a very busy job, and elderly parents with caring needs. Very limited time on his hands.

versus

you. One grown up daughter. With a lot of time on her hands

You are at completely different life stages.

Added to which… why you’d want to get involved with someone at such a vastly different life stage as you in the first place is probably not a good idea

he felt distant at first

of course he bloody did. He had only just met you “at first”

In fact, even now I’d still regard the pair of you as having only just met after knowing one another 2 months

You have not asked for too much.

He can’t meet you where you deserve to be met.

When you are left confused after dates, trust your intuition. It is almost never wrong.

This isn’t the one for you but you are now one step closer to finding him!