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How to ask for more foreplay and discuss climaxing differences?

1 reply

YesYesIDid · 13/04/2026 09:20

Posting here rather than specifically on the sex topic as I know a lot of people may avoid reading over there, but it is a sex one really...

Recently re-connected with an old flame and having a lot of fun so far, we get on well and I find him very physically attractive...although I've made it clear that I'm not looking for anything more serious with him and he seems ok with that.

The sex itself is actually fantastic (which shocked me quite a bit given that I've just had a hysterectomy, have endometriosis, and last time I tried with a previous partner I was in horrendous pain!) However I have two minor-ish issues...

One is that he never seems to climax, ever. He just kind of stops, and is then ready to go again not long after. He seems happy enough with being like that and is definitely enjoying himself otherwise but I suppose on that point I was just curious.

Also I'd quite like him to spend more time on foreplay... don't get me wrong I'm more than ready to have sex when it happens but selfishly I'd like him to give me a bit more attention where it matters, but just not sure what to say! If it helps it's not like I've exactly returned the favour either as we just kind of get straight into the main event... I know I should just come out and say it but what if it's something he doesn't do?!

HebeMumsnet · 13/04/2026 10:18

Morning, OP. We've moved this over to Relationships now.

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