Turned off by husband’s fantasy

[Calidor]

DH has a particular fantasy and is really getting me down. He fantasises about me going to bed with someone else. Every time we make love it’s all he talks about before, during and after, and now I’m beginning to dread having sex. I’ve tried talking to him about it but he says it’s only a bit of fun, but it’s really not fun for me and I actually am turned off by it all. He is adamant that I will do it one day, but I really hate the very idea. Any advice on how to deal with this?

Shut him down everytime. If he brings it up before sex walk away, if he brings it up during, roll away and tell him you are no longer in the mood. And double down on the conversation. You WILL NOT do it one day and if he doesn't stop mentioning it than you wont be having sex

This is horrible. I'd just tell him straight. Stop or I'm gone. It sounds creepy and perverse.

The you will do it one day comment is more like a threat.
I hope he. Isn't into taking photos whilst you're sleeping etc.
He's 100% creepy guy.

I agree. Men and their fantasies are not easily parted.

I’d have to leave I would have 0 respect for my husband who has a fetish for seeing another man have sex with his wife. I think it also speaks volumes to the respect he has for you too. Life’s to short to be with a creep

He is telling you that he plans to coerce you into having sex with someone else. This is the first step, apply the pressure, wear you down.

He’s never going to stop and he said you will one day so he is getting coercive, he will try to force you to sleep with someone else and threaten to leave you if you refuse. Personally I would leave him.

Tbh the constant talking during sex would turn me off but the subject matter would have me running out the door!

He doesn't get to be "adamant" about anything involving your body.

How to deal with it: https://www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce

my husband also has this fantasy

Are you going to wait until he’s incapacitated you with sleeping meds or similar, so he can watch another man fuck you?

Are you going to eventually agree to “willingly” have sex with another man while your husband either holds you still, or tries to get you performing oral sex on him at the same time, or while he masturbates while he watches?

Do you think if you do it once it’ll get it out of his system?

You don’t want to, your prick of a husband is obsessed with the idea that you WILL do it.

Marriage is over, and the first time he pushed the idea after you’d said you’re not interested, should have been the last opportunity he ever had to sleep with you. Gross, hateful bully, and potentially planning your rape.

How do you deal with it?