doublestandards through the roof. why??

[LadyLavenderUrchin]

I’ve been very active on MN years ago when I had my first DD. I dont know what happened but it was not this blatantly biased and sexist with double-standards. what happened here ladies?? the moment a man asks a question why his wife has low libido he is instantly labelled as scum who clearly doesnt help around the house or kids he is probably shit in bed and just overall a not good enough husband. the cheaters are torn to shreds as they are the absolute scum who cant be redeemed. the wives are urged to get ducks in a row and bleed the man out for every penny he has. throw him out tonight and let him rot with the other cheating scumbag exhusbands. and then there are our cheating sisters in arms. oh somehow we wish them good luck in their cheating and give them tips how to. if the man cheats it is his fault entirely but when we cheat it is somehow also their fault. are we kidding here? the level of doublestandards is so high. why?? I just read in another thread that the lady looking for advice on how to cheat is admired because she has a need to fulfill and we wish good luck to her. really?? what is wrong with people?

Well why is a man coming onto a female dominated forum asking strangers how he can make his wife have more sex than she is comfortable with. It's always about that and it's fucking tedious.

So true. I know a lot of men are crap but it seems any problem a woman has is automatically valid but if it’s a man posting the same it isn’t

i agree

i just dont get it. makes us look like brats

Well it isn’t a political party where everyone is supposed to sing from the same hymn sheet as it were…
One person’s “cheaters are scum” is not everyone’s view. Some people are capable of taking nuanced views on the details given by the poster and some will say whatever they say about the issue every time.
I don’t know which post you are referring to about encouraging someone to cheat.. but I assume there’s more to the replies than just the sex of the person planning or actual cheating.

and then there are our cheating sisters in arms. oh somehow we wish them good luck in their cheating and give them tips how to

I’ve literally never seen this.

What bothers me is they are expecting a group of women to sort out their problem. It’s one thing to ask women for advice, but a lot of the time it just feels like “hey tell me what to do so I can avoid having to do anything resembling thought or emotional labour”.

I have never ever seen a thread on here where a woman who is cheating is praised or given advice on how to get away with it. Women who confess to affairs on here always get ripped to absolute shreds.

I've been on here years and it's always been like this. I like it. I think it's a result of lots of women with life experience actually sharing the benefit of that experience instead of telling women to bend themselves in whichever way is the most uncomfortable in the name of bowing to the great Patriarchy. That's what used to happen/ happens elsewhere.

Sure, it might over-correct now and again. But for me "double standards" are a misnomer because in society women are held to a much much higher standard than men are. What they look like, what they do, how they parent, what they say, etc ad vomitum. There is never a time where the "standards" for men and women are similar enough even to compare them properly.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/5512280-how-to-find-a-man-discreetly

I was going to say this exact thing. Any examples of people cheering woman cheaters on OP?

I think on the sex forum the context is slightly different tbh. If she had posted that in relationships she’d have been minced.

Neither have I. And I've been on here since what feels like the dawn of time.

That’s the sex board- a very different crowd to the relationships board.

ok I get that it is a different board but we all have a "sex life". just because it is on a sex board cheating shouldnt be perceived differently

Because this is a 'moment' happening socially/culturally at the moment. It's part of a bigger social transition between women's position as the key person in the home/life admin/main carer/default parent. Most men still want this. Women don't. And women are revolting (pun not intended) against it while men are trying unsuccessfully to manipulate to continue as part of women's burden.

Consequently, women are angry.

It isn't that Mumsnet is a hub of man haters. It's that Mumsnet reflects women in society.

Ah - that board. A place where a high proportion of posts are purportedly from women but aren't.

99.9% of MN users wouldn't dip a toe in that place, let alone anything else.

I’ve been on here a long time too and the double standards have always been rife.

So what do you think the man's equivalent of Mumsnet is like? Do you think on their sex board if a man was looking for advice on having an affair, the other men would be persuading him out of it?

It is human nature to see things from your own perspective. If a woman posts about problems in a marriage we're going to put ourselves in the shoes of that woman. If a man posts we are going to put ourselves in the shoes of his wife.

You seem extremely agitated about something that isn't really a big deal. We still live in a patriarchal society so if women on here aren't always very balanced and fair about men, I promise you they'll still be ok. In wider society it will still be seen as more acceptable to have an affair if you're a man. You will be more likely to be seen as a hero if you're a single dad than if you're a single mum.

Double standards are only double standards if it's from the same people. Try understanding words and the meanings properly @LadyLavenderUrchin before having a go.

As for the sex board, most of us have that blocked. It's a right cesspit.

You’ve misunderstood. People aren’t saying it’s ok because it’s on the sex board. They are saying it’s not an example of double standards because the people posting on that thread are different people to those criticising infidelity on the relationships board.

If you want to complain about a thread on the sex board, maybe do it on that board- you will get more relevant responses.

interesting takes. thanks

MRAs busy this BH weekend, about the 5th thread about this subject