DH of 20 years has met a woman at work who has become a very good friend over the last year or so. In a small group they occasionally went out for meals and drinking. There was lots of non work messaging late into the night and at weekends and I began to be concerned. Some of the messages were of the nudge-nudge-wink-wink type. It was painful and frankly heartbreaking to read them.
It really upset me and I asked if he could keep it to work where they spend time together anyway.
He has other woman friends and always has. Not a problem. But with this one…it’s different. They are clearly very close and share a lot of private jokes. It reminds me of we used to be when we first met. That easy friendship, knowing how we make each other laugh. Seeing something and wanting to tell them. Now he is like this with her.
Eventually after I let her know that I was aware, they did stop messaging but I worry it continues.
I don’t know what to do. When together, he spends most evenings with his phone in his hand, which makes me feel increasingly worried, in my own home, that it’s going on again.
It’s not physical between them but it’s so hurtful and their connection is slowly destroying how I feel about him and it makes me very sad.
I love him and our family and our home very much but it makes me feel lonelier each day.
Is it time I just face reality and leave or ask him to? I don’t know where to go with all this.