Did anyone ever start a relationship with a younger man who is less financially successful?
I am a 41-year-old woman with three children — 18, 16, and 9. I am reasonably well-off. I have a well-paid job, one mortgaged apartment where we live, and another apartment that I rent out.
After my divorce, I’m not as financially free as I used to be, but overall I’ve done quite well for myself. I don’t live in luxury, and lately, with rising prices, I can’t afford much travel — but still, I think I’ve built a stable life.
A year ago, I met a man. I wasn’t planning to fall in love or start a relationship, but it happened.
He is 10 years younger. When we first met, he thought I was his age — he didn’t know I was older or that I had three children. I take care of myself and look younger than my age.
We started dating, and the relationship developed quite quickly. It wasn’t intense or overwhelming — not love bombing — but something calm and steady. The kind of connection where you feel peaceful in the presence of another person.
He comes from a very poor family and never had the opportunity to get an education beyond high school. When we met, he didn’t even have a driving license — he preferred riding a bike and never thought he would need one.
At that time, he was working offshore — three months away, one month back — and earning good money. He had only started this job about two years before we met.
We met, fell in love, and the relationship developed very quickly. He moved in naturally — not because he pushed for it, but because it simply felt right.
Then he went back offshore for three months, and it was incredibly difficult for both of us. During that time, he showed care in very thoughtful ways. For example, my dog’s leash was broken, and it was actually dangerous because the dog pulls a lot. I kept postponing replacing it, but he insisted on paying for a new one and sending it to me — which he did.
He is trustworthy, he never breaks his word, he is kind, gentle, doesn’t drink, and has high emotional intelligence.
When he came back, we decided that being apart like that wasn’t sustainable, so he chose to find a job locally. At first, he struggled, and I suggested a workplace where he eventually got a job. He has been working there for four months now.
Of course, he’s not fully satisfied — he wants more from life and wants to grow. We discussed many times whether he should go back offshore, but decided that kind of lifestyle is not what we want for our future.
He proposed, and I said yes. We are planning to get married.
He is also very good with my children — calm, gentle, never forcing anything. Even my daughter, who is usually very guarded and doesn’t easily warm up to people, gradually accepted him.
Financially, everything he earns, he brings into the family. From the very beginning, he suggested having a joint account and transferring his full salary there — which he does. I don’t do the same, and I still cover most of the major expenses. Right now, a large part of his income is going towards getting his driving license.
So he has ambition, he is trying, and I truly love him.
But I do have concerns about the financial gap between us.
So my question is — has anyone built a long-term relationship or marriage with a younger partner who was initially less financially established? How did it turn out?